Ginny Carney has been running since she was 17; running from the small town that stifled her, from her 'wild child' reputation, and from the boy she left behind. Now 25 Ginny finds herself a college dropout with no job, no boyfriend and forced to m...
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I dragged myself out of bed on Monday morning. Staying up every night with Miles was really starting to get to me and I was almost five minutes late to work. If June noticed that I was late she didn't say anything so I just started doing my morning tasks and made an extra effort to get them done as quickly as I could.
"How are you today?" June asked when she was able to take a breather from her morning baking. She asked the question casually but her eyes were searching mine and she couldn't hide that she looked worried. Seeing that look in her eye I felt like I was 17 again only this time I wasn't the one she needed to be worried about.
"I'm fine June" I said plastering the most genuine smile I could muster on my face, "Just didn't get much sleep this weekend. You don't need to worry about me" I added, "promise"
"Ok honey" she said "Just remember I'm always here if you need me, no judgement" she winked,
"I know, thanks June" I said and I hoped it sounded sincere because I really meant it. I didn't tell her that Miles was practically drinking himself to death, that I was so tired I was barely holding it together, and that I wasn't sure what I could do to help him.
Beth came in like she did every Monday and I had to pretend like I was hearing it for the first time when she told me that Miles had gotten so drunk on Sunday that Kenny had had to call Erik to pick him up and drive him home. I had already known that he had been too drunk to walk home, what I didn't know was that he was so out of control and angry that he was starting to alienate any friends he had left here; he hadn't been lying when he had said that I was all he had left. I didn't tell Beth that I'd seen him the night before or what he'd said. I felt like if I told anyone it would break the spell or reveal how broken he really was and I selfishly wanted to keep him to myself, I wanted to protect him.
It was late afternoon and I was in the back organizing the new delivery of coffee that had come in when June came into the back and asked if I could watch the front for a bit. I thought that it was strange because because usually if I was doing something in the back she would stay in the front until I was finished. When I got out there I saw why she had sent me to the front. He was sitting there in the corner booth. No matter how tired I was he looked infinitely worse. His usually tan skin was pale and washed out and he had dark circles under his eyes. He had made a little effort that day, he was wearing jeans and a jacket instead of his sweats but he also looked like he had showered and then not even bothered to brush his hair so it was a floppy, curly mess. He was staring at his hands as if he had just wandered in to the bakery but wasn't sure what to do with himself now that he was there. He didn't look up as I started to make an americano. I took a deep breath to steel myself to talk to him while he was sober for the first time and then I brought the coffee, a glass of water, and a brownie over to the corner booth. I placed the tray on the table and slid it towards him, I didn't say anything but I sat down across from him. I had never sat in that seat; when we were together we had always sat on the same side of the booth and it felt strange to be together again in the same spot but for things to be so different. He reached for the coffee first and took a sip before he even looked at me. I didn't want to push him but it was killing me to just sit there, I wanted to know how he was doing, why he was here.
"Thank you" he said and put the coffee down,
"You look like you need it" I said,
"I don't mean just for the coffee" he said quietly and he looked up and caught my eye then.
"Well I couldn't just leave you on the lawn could I?" I said awkwardly trying to break some of the tension. He almost smiled and looked back down at his hands.
"I can't sleep" he said to his hands, "I always think the alcohol will help me sleep, help me forget" he choked up as he said that, "I hate being in that house alone" he whispered.
"You need some help Miles, someone to talk to."
"There's no one left" he put his head in his hands,
"I meant, like, a professional" I said. He shook his head without lifting it from his hands. I couldn't tell for sure but I thought he might be crying. I didn't know what to do but I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out and stroking his arm and trying to comfort him. He lifted his head and I dropped my hand to the table. His hand was so close to mine I had to fight the instinct to reach out and take it in mine.
"Come over tonight?" he asked quietly. His eyes were bloodshot, the dark circles under his eyes looked like bruises.
"I don't think that's a good idea" I sighed
"Please Gin" he practically begged his fingers moving on the table so that his little finger was barely touching mine, "You're the only one who knew me when I was still me."
The way he looked at me with his pleading, broken hearted eyes made it impossible to say no. In my head I knew that he was a different person, that I hadn't seen him in seven years and yet he still looked like the boy I knew and he was hurting.
"Ok" I said slowly, "But I'm making dinner and you have to eat it."
"Ok" he smiled just a little,
"Go home, try to get some sleep you look like hell, I'll be by after work."
We both got up from the table and stood awkwardly facing each other.
"Thanks Gin" he said,
"I'll see you later" I said and he turned and walked out the door and I wondered what I had gotten myself into.
Author's note:
Hi everyone! Sorry it's taken me so long things have been crazy and I've been living out of suitcases and haven't had weekends off like I normally would so it's been hard to update but I hope you like this little chapter and next week it should get back to normal Saturday updates for a bit. As usual let me know what you think! (also point out any typos because sometimes I find them weeks later and omg it is so annoying) 😊 ❤️
