Ginny Carney has been running since she was 17; running from the small town that stifled her, from her 'wild child' reputation, and from the boy she left behind. Now 25 Ginny finds herself a college dropout with no job, no boyfriend and forced to m...
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I stood on the front porch bags of food under my arms and waited for Miles to open the door. I don't know why but my heart was beating out of my chest; I was so nervous. He opened the door looking bleary eyed and he was back in his sweatpants but some of the colour had returned to his face.
"I thought you said you were making dinner" he gestured to the takeout bags,
"I haven't gotten any better at cooking" I laughed and held one of the bags out to him
"Takeout works for me then" he laughed and I followed him into the kitchen. "What'd you get?"
"Little bit of everything from Carl's so I think that bag's got spaghetti, fried rice, and ginger chicken and I've got garlic bread, tacos, and spring roles."
"Oh yes, the tacos give me those" he said taking the other bag from me and we loaded up our plates. He was being quiet. When he spoke he was casual and really trying to be normal but he was being quiet and I couldn't tell if that was because of what he was going through or because we didn't know what to say to each other.
"Couch?" I asked automatically but then immediately started second guessing myself, maybe he acted like a real grownup now, maybe he didn't eat dinner on the couch in front of the TV anymore.
"Couch" he nodded in agreement, "Want a beer?" he asked walking towards the fridge and I gave him a pointed look, "Just the one with dinner" he said,
"Alright then" I said slowly and I immediately thought that I shouldn't have done that.
I set my plate on the coffee table in front of the TV and Miles followed and handed me the drink and I took the cold bottle and took a sip before setting it down on the table.
"There's no place in the world quite like Carl's" Miles said spooning some fried rice into his mouth,
"I know, I grew up thinking everyone ate spring roles with their tacos" we laughed and I felt comfortable and at home sitting next to him in his living room. He turned the TV on to some old sitcom and I looked around the room.
"You turned all the pictures back over" I noticed taking in the framed photos of his parents on their wedding day, various pictured of him through the years some with his mom, some without, and the one closest to me on the side table of me and him dressed to the nines for prom with our arms around his mom who was standing between us.
"I didn't want to forget what she looked like" he said quietly and I felt tears spring to my eyes and I wanted to reach out to him, to take his hand, but that wasn't my place anymore.
"I didn't think she would still have this one out" I gestured at the prom photo,
"She loved that picture" he said and he looked sad but he smiled, "She loved you."
"I adored her" I said, "You know that right?"
"I know."
"I'm sorry Miles, I should have been there with it happened, for the funeral" I still felt guilty and if I couldn't apologize to her I would apologize to him.
"I was in such a bad place, Gin, seeing you might have pushed me over the edge. I'm still in a bad place but I'm getting used to you being around" he winked.
"You do seem better today" I said slowly, "But maybe that's just because you're not blackout drunk."
"I wasn't blackout for all of it" he mumbled and I wondered what he remembered from the last few days. We lapsed into silence, the only sound coming from the TV, it wasn't uncomfortable but there was an edge to it, a tension, there were a lot of things unsaid between us and I had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
"Was it really that bad?" I asked after a few minutes, "When I left" I explained. It had been bothering me, both Beth and now Miles had mentioned that seeing me might have 'pushed him over the edge.' I had never asked about him when I had talked to my parents, I had been too scared; scared that he would have moved on, scared that news of him would have sent me running back home. He sighed and reached for his drink old wounds opening back up for both of us.
"It was bad" he said slowly and ran his hand through his hair pulling it away from his face, "I was lost" he said and let his hair go. "I had planned this whole future around you and then you were gone. He took another sip of his beer as my heart slowly cracked down the middle. "I kept trying to figure out what I had done, where I'd gone wrong. You broke my heart but that was the worst part, the not understanding."
"It wasn't about you" I choked out so quietly that it was almost a whisper. I could tell where this was going and it was too close for comfort.
"Well it felt like it was about me Ginny" he said an edge to his voice, his old anger seeping through, "You wouldn't even answer the phone."
"I know" I said guiltily to the plate in my lap.
"I thought you were happy" he said his voice falling back to it's normal volume, "I know I was just a naive 18 year old but I thought you loved me" he said it almost as if it was a question. I wondered how so much time could have passed between us and yet the wounds could still be so raw; surely this wasn't normal for 'high school sweethearts.'
"I did love you Miles, I loved you so much it hurt." I looked over at him and now he was the one looking down at his plate.
"It's weird to hear you call me Miles" he said,
"You got so mad at me that first time" I paused, "It feels weird to say it" I admitted and we fell silent again. Miles finished eating and put his empty plate on the coffee table.
"So are you going to tell me what happened? Why you left?" He asked and he looked up and caught my eye then.
"Cliff" I sighed and his face softened slightly at the name, "it's not that simple"
"Are you serious?" he said his tone hardening again, "I've been wondering what happened for seven years and you still can't tell me? It can hardly matter now can it?"
"I'm scared" I offered in response, "I never really told anyone, not my parents, not Beth; I'm scared it will make everything that much worse for you. I'm scared you'll hate me." He looked at me both confused and worried, "now's not the time" I whispered.
"Oh my God Ginny! What could have been so bad that you had to run away?" He was angry now, "What adult still can't deal with problems they had as a teenager?"
He made me angry. He had no idea what I had been through, what he was talking about and it made me angry. So angry that I said what I said next without even thinking it just tumbled out of my mouth out of frustration; the one thing that I had never said, the thing that would change everything,
"I was pregnant."
Author's note:
Uh oh cat's out of the bag! Who saw that coming? Things are going to get a little heated now and maybe we'll find out what happened to Ginny when she moved out on her own.
As always let me know what you think! See you soon 😘
