Ginny Carney has been running since she was 17; running from the small town that stifled her, from her 'wild child' reputation, and from the boy she left behind. Now 25 Ginny finds herself a college dropout with no job, no boyfriend and forced to m...
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Miles' POV - Saturday Morning
All things considered I felt lucky. I'd lost my mom and that had been intense and heartbreaking and completely unexpected; I hadn't known how to handle it and I had fallen into destructive habits but if I'm being completely honest I'd lost myself long before coming home and the anger and binging wasn't new. In some ways I'd lost everything but then I found Gin again and I felt like I'd found a bit of myself again, I felt lucky.
I was making pancakes in the house that I had grown up in and there was a gorgeous girl wearing my t-shirt and little else and she was smiling at me. Her hair was still messy from the night before, her lips were swollen from where I'd kissed her and as she stretched up to reach for the coffee I couldn't help but wrap an arm around her waist and plant a kiss on her cheek while she giggled. I didn't want to panic her, I could tell we was scared and a little lost, but it felt like we were stepping back into the life we were supposed to have. This wasn't just some step back into the past for me, I wanted us to have a future.
The doorbell rang just as I was pouring pancake batter into the pan, "Can you get that?" I asked sharing a confused look with Gin, "It's probably just Erik making sure I'm not dead." Erik was the only one other than Gin who would drop by to check on me. I continued making pancakes not able to hear who was at the door. I was planning to talk to Gin today, I knew we were keeping it casual and hadn't defined what we were but I would have to go back to work eventually and I wanted us to try.
"Cliff!" Ginny called from the doorway but I was working really hard not to burn the pancakes and didn't want to walk away from the stove.
"Babe," I called back, "You can invite Erik in." Even if it wasn't Erik we'd known everyone in this town our whole lives and I was almost surprised they hadn't just walked right in and made themselves a place at the table.
"Not Erik" she called back. I finally accepted defeat and turned the stove off and put the spatula down. I was ready to give that girl a hard time, she was too polite for her own good and if the pancakes were ruined I was totally going to blame her. I opened my mouth to tease Ginny but then stopped in my tracks when I saw who was at the door.
"Lucia?" I blurted out, I was stunned. She was the last person I expected to see here, I had never expected to see her again.
"Miles" she sighed, "I just heard why didn't you call?"
I barely heard her I was just repeated shit shit shit in my head. Then I saw Melly clutching Lucia's skirt and my heart sank knowing what Gin would think. Ginny looked back and forth between me and Lucia and I wanted so badly to explain but at that moment Melly saw me and ran into the house. She squealed "Daddy!" and I caught her on instinct but all my focus was on Ginny. I could see her heart break as her face fell and I quickly tried to put Melly down.
"Ginny" I tried to move towards her but she ran out of the room.
"Melly, honey, come here, let go of Miles" Lucia said and held out a hand to the little girl still tugging at my pant leg.
"What are you doing here?" I asked bluntly. I was trying not to be cold especially in front of Melly but I really needed to go after Ginny.
"I heard about your mother" she said sombrely,
"I don't want to be rude" I said but I honestly didn't care, "but so what? I thought you said we were 'cutting all ties, never speaking again'" I threw air quotes around the last part.
"Miles" she sighed and I couldn't help but glance at the stairs, I needed to explain. "Go ahead, go after her" she rolled her eyes, "Cliff" she added bitterly. I had never let her call me Cliff. I had told her only my mom called me that; I hadn't told her about Ginny at all.
I rushed up the stairs and into the bedroom. "Gin" I panted. She was shoving things into her bag and she wouldn't even turn to around. I could almost see the anger radiating off of her, "Ginny look at me" I said. I was trying to keep my voice calm but I was almost shaking with panic. She didn't stop packing. "Ginny stop!" I hadn't meant to yell but all the emotion was boiling over and I didn't manage my emotions well, "Just let me explain!" But she didn't give me a chance to explain; I had broken her. As far and Ginny was concerned I had mourned one daughter with her but had completely abandoned another. She was yelling and crying and it was punching a hole straight through my chest. I tried to stop her from leaving but when she looked up at me with her big broken brown eyes and quietly said "Let me go Cliff" I felt like I had no choice.
She looked so upset and I was so used to comforting her when she was like that that I instinctively reached out to touch her but she flinched away from me and I could have died right then. "Where are you going?" I pleaded, at the very least I wanted to know that she was safe.
"I don't think that's any of your business" she said angrily and I knew then that I'd lost her. I couldn't force her to stay, I had to let her go. I hung my head in shame and grief as she walked past me to leave.
"What was I to you?" she asked as an afterthought her voice breaking through the tears, "Was I just some way for you to feel 18 again? Or were you just looking for a screw and I was easy and vulnerable and ... there"
"Gin you know it's not like that" how did I tell her that I had never stopped loving her, that coming back to her had been like stepping back into my body for the first time in years?
"I don't know anything, I don't even know who you are anymore" she said quietly and then she was gone.
I slumped against the wall. What would I do now? Now I really had lost it all.
"Miles?" Lucia asked quietly coming up the stairs, "Are you ok?"
I felt broken. Any of my broken pieces that Gin had been holding together had come apart again.
"She's the one then?"
"What?" I asked, confused,
"The one that broke you heart or the one that got away, the one you never quite got over. It's why no matter what you thought you wanted we never would have worked."
"I did try though" I said with a sad smile.
"I'm sorry for this" she said, "For messing it all up. It's just when I heard about your mom ... with your drinking ... I just thought you'd be all alone."
"I was. For a while." I said thinking back to those busy weeks where I had been mostly drunk and too angry at the world to accept any help. We stood in silence for a while; I could hear the TV downstairs and guessed that Lucia had left Melly on the couch.
"We should go" Lucia said eventually.
"Can I say goodbye to Melly one more time before you do?" I asked
"Of course" she said. I suspected she felt like she had to say yes out of pity but I'd take it. When I was alone again I crumpled to the floor in the front hall and finally allowed myself to break down.
Author's note:
Hello everyone! What do we think of Miles' POV? We learned a little bit more about Lucia and what's going on in Cliff's head this chapter. I hope you didn't find it too repetitive since obviously we've already had this scene from Ginny'y point of view but I thought it would be interesting to show what Miles is thinking too.
Let me know what you think! Do you want more from Miles' POV or just Ginny from now on? Thanks for reading 😘
