"Please . . . don't cry. You had to have known I'd do this at some point."
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Parker Sims is the class clown but that doesn't mean he's easy to fool. And that's just what Nola B. is good at - fooling people. She's got the whole school believing th...
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Chapter Thirty-Four:
"Don't be nervous."
It took Nola a second to realize that Parker had spoken. She turned, to face him, and mustered a weak grin. Her intention was to fool him, but Nola knew he wasn't believing her, not even for a second.
So, she cleared her throat and hoped her words would convince him, "I'm not nervous." She immediately turned and looked out the passenger window feeling embarrassed that she couldn't be braver ... that she couldn't trust him.
Nola was angry that Mitch made her this way because she wanted to trust Parker and his judgment in friends. But then again, Nola knew, in the beginning, she had trusted Mitch. She knew, all too well, where that got her in the past. And, it was a place that Nola didn't want to ever go back to.
Inhaling, Nola brought herself back to the present moment and reminded herself that Parker was different. She knew it - she could feel it in her bones. But, accepting how she felt was a totally different story.
"Really? You're not nervous?" Parker raised one of his eyebrows in pure disbelief. "Right, and Santa Clause is not real." Parker tried to lighten the mood but he knew no matter what he said she would be anxious until she finally met his friends. After that, Parker had a feeling she would come to learn that they were harmless people that wouldn't dare to hurt her.
He glanced over at Nola for a second and felt a sense of sadness wash over him. He quickly looked away and shook his head slightly. Parker couldn't imagine being in her shoes. He knew that because of Mitch she was scared of practically everything - especially if it was new. He hated that so much it made his teeth grind.
"Do you remember in Elementry school we had monkey bars?" Parker said, at first, in a rushed tone of voice. He wanted to talk, he knew that it would calm him down and he, also, hoped that it would help Nola too.
Nola nodded but didn't utter a single word.
"Okay, and do you remember me back in about fourth grade?"
Nola shook her head.
"No? Oh come on, we've taken classes together since first grade!"
"I-I'm sorry. I don't remember-r you then."
Parker felt a little hurt that she didn't remember him, but he thought back to the research he had done about abuse and their victims. One thing he had found, was that a lot of abuse victims don't remember their past - even before the abuse - very well. It's a defense mechanism that their minds do in order to forget they've been put through by the abuser.
So one assumption Parker made was that she had blocked her mind from memories of her past, as a repercussion of Mitch and his abuse. But, then again, he assumed that she simply might not remember that far back.
