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Game 46 - All too late

Game 46 – All too late

Pagkarating ko sa bahay ay dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko para i-box lahat ng mga gamit ni Caleb. I cried my way home and every time I let my tears fall, my heart shattered. It hurt so damn much and if I weren’t pregnant, I would have drown myself in alcohol.

But I was. God I was pregnant. And I have no one.

I shoved all his things in the box, so many questions were in my head swarming in, how they did meet? Who was she really? But I didn't want to ask him that anymore. I want him gone in my life.

I couldn’t believe I actually thought he would never hurt me. I trusted the man, I told him the part of my past that I kept from the deepest part of my heart because I trusted him. He told me he would never leave me, told me I could run to him but he just proved me wrong.

God. How could I be so stupid to actually think love was real? That his love was real? That he was real and faithful. He told me I ruin relationships but he was the one who fucked us up. I wasn’t the one who was kissing someone else.

I shut my heart out because I didn't want to get hurt but I did anyway. I opened it for him and he stabbed it with the sharpest dagger anyone could had stabbed me with. And with that awful woman?

I walked to the desk and opened the drawer to grab his books. I shoved his books to the box too. I brushed my tears aside and sat down the chair. I closed my eyes to shut my feelings out.

Pagkatapos kong ilagay lahat ng gamit niya sa box ay bumaba ako para ilagay ito sa foyer. Hindi na niya kailangan pang umakyat para lang sa gamit niya. Siguro mas makakabuti kung tawagan ko si Ron para kunin yung mga gamit ni Caleb sa bahay.

I don't want to call Angelo right now, he really was cautious of Caleb too. I don’t want to see his I told you so right now even when I want to cry on his shoulder and let him comfort me.

I called Anya the minute I got back to my room. Nakahiga ako sa kama ko habang hinihintay sagutin ni Anya yung telepono. When she did, I broke. “Anya, he cheated on me.”

“Do you want me to come over?” Anya asked.

“No. I don’t want to ruin your day.” I told her. “Anya it hurts.”

“I know it does sweetie.”

“How can you know? Roderick never cheated on you.” I sniffed.

“He almost did, you know? Masakit kasi hindi lang yung puso mo yung nasaktan. It hurts because you trusted the man but in the end he broke everything in you.” Anya said.

“Wanna know the worst part is Anya?” I asked her. “The woman he cheated on me with was the same woman who I found on Andy’s bed.”

“What?”

Anya and I talked for awhile, she comforted me and I cried over the phone.

Nakatulog ako ng umiiyak. I didn’t mind, sleep made me numb.

I woke up feeling like hell. My eyes hurt and I’m sure it’s swollen and red. Bumaba ako para kumain ng cereal dahil ayun lang ang sa tingin kong tatanggapin ng tiyan ko ngayon. I feel sick.

I guess my baby is not so well with the breakup too. We both lost Caleb today.

I checked my phone and saw 20 missed calls from Caleb. I turned my phone off. I sighed as I poured my milk to my cereal.

I really don’t like to eat but my stomach grumbled and I needed to eat for my baby. Caleb may had broken my heart but I still needed to be healthy for my baby. He’s all I have left.