Lost Girl (A 5SOS fanfiction)

Alone - Chapter 7

I slid the blade back into the small box before hiding it behind the shelves in the bathroom. I've never felt this low before, not even when the video went viral or when Dad died. I think it's worse this time because I was letting myself believe that Luke liked me and that we could have some sort of frienship or relationship; that he accepted me for who I am. But I'll never forget the way he looked at me today, the disappointment in his eyes when he realized I wasn't the pure, innocent girl he thought I was.

Sighing, I ran the cold water over the fresh marks on my wrist until the blood stopped flowing before pulling down the sleeves of my YMAS hoodie. I got home a couple of hours ago, stumbling through the door in tears. Of course Mum was out somewhere and Matt was getting stoned in his room so nobody noticed how broken and down I was. I feel so empty everyday now, the pain from the blade is the only thing letting me know that I can still feel, that I'm still alive.

Walking back into my room and collapsing on my bed, I saw that I had a new message on my phone. It had to be one of the girls because who else would text me? It's not like I have any other friends. Opening the text, my suspicions were confirmed.

~Sophie~ Hi hun, I wanted to let you know that Ashton has forgiven me! Yes, he messaged me over twitter and I explained everything and he apologized. The point of this message was to say that Luke wants to talk to you...don't be mad but I gave Ash your number and he passed it on to Luke, sorry! I think it'll do you good to clear the air between you and I know Luke will forgive you just like Ashton forgave me. Stay strong beautiful, I love you! xxxxxxxx

Luke wants to talk to me? I frowned, reading the message over and over again. Why would he want anything to do with me? He knows about my horrible past and he knows that I'm a whore, so I don't understand why he'd waste his time on me. Sighing, I tossed my phone back on my bed and headed downstairs to find some ice cream.

After digging out some cookie dough ice cream from the freezer, I slumped down on our worn-out sofa and switched on the TV. Channel surfing until I found a good show to watch, I dug in to my ice cream, eating it straight out of the pot.

"Imogen?" A voice from behind me made me jump, nearly causing me to drop my ice cream.

"Jesus Matt, stop doing that!" I yelled, spinning around to face my idiot of a younger brother.

"Sorry." He mumbled, holding his hands up in defense before moving towards the kitchen.

I could tell he was trying to cover up the fact that he had just been smoking pot, but even he couldn't mask the smell. I watched as my little brother grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it all in one go, before proceeding to take a packet of cheese and onion crisps from the snack cupboard. He took me by surprise yet again by spinning around to face me.

"Are you okay G?" He asked, sitting himself down next to me on the sofa.

I was slighty uncomfortable with him being so close to me but I didn't say anything. Instead I focused my eyes on the TV before answering.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, bringing another spoonful of ice cream up to my mouth.

There was a long pause and I though Matt had given up with the questions, until he shifted around to face me.

"Liar." He stated.

I blinked a few times before putting the lid back on the ice cream and returning it to the freezer. Standing with my back to Matt and leaning against the kitchen counter, I tried to collect my thoughts. It was no use, my brain kept flashing images of Luke right before my eyes; his smile, his dimples, the way he laughs, the way he comforted me earlier when I had my panic attack, and just how friendly and caring he is. Shaking my head, I came out of my daze. I didn't want to ruin my brother's life even more by making him worry about me.

"I'm not lying Matt, now just let it go." I said firmly, my hands gripping the counter so tightly that I was losing feeling in my fingers.

"Imogen, look at me." He was right behind me, his hands on my shoulders.

My baby brother was always looking out for me and he was smarter than I gave him credit for. I spun around and buried my face in his chest, ignoring the stale smell of drugs and alcohol. He was my little brother and I clung onto him like a lifeline, praying that he could be saved from all this mess. I didn't want Matt to end up like me but he had anyway, and no one was more upset about that than myself.

"What g-gave it...away?" I sobbed, still in his arms.

"Even though we haven't been close for ages, you're still my big sister. I still know you, better than I know myself." Matt said gently, holding me by the shoulders and slowly pushing me backwards so he was looking directly into my eyes. I hadn't noticed how much he'd grown in the past few years, he was almost taller than me now.

"I heard you crying in your room when you got home today, I should've checked on you. I'm so sorry Imogen," He whispered, looking down to the floor.

"Hey, it's not your fault! Anyway, I needed time alone to think and to compose myself; I looked like a wreck." I laughed lightly, only doing it to make Matt feel better. It seemed to work because he looked up and smiled at me, before turning serious again.

"Why were you crying?" He asked, his head tilted to one side and eyes hard and demanding.

"It's nothing to wory about Matt," I tried to shrug it off, but my persistent brother was having none of it.

"Tell me." He ordered, the piercings and dark hair made him look almost...dangerous. This broke my heart.

"Matt.." I began softly, bringing my hand up to push his fringe off his face.

"No, Imogen. Tell me. Now." He said firmly, with a cold egde to his voice that I'd never heard before.

He caught my hand and placed it by my side, before pinning me by my shoulders again. It was pointless lying to him since he knew me so well. I sighed and relaxed my muscles, suddenly feeling very old and so, so tired.

"I met a boy at the weekend. He came into my shop with his bandmates and he was really quiet. Then Shelby came in and kicked off so I ran away but this boy, Luke, came and found me. He gave me some ice cream," I smiled, remembering the fond moment between us, "Last night, me and the girls went to his concert where he and the rest of his band performed really well, and he gave me his number afterwards. Today Shelby and her bitchy group were giving us hell on the shuttle bus so we decided to get off at the station, which is where we bumped into Luke and the boys. I had a panic attack - don't worry I'm fine - and then we all had coffee at Costa which is where we told the boys about J-Jackson. Luke looked at me s-so differently and I swear he h-hates me!" I rushed, bursting into tears.

"Ssssh, it's okay. It'll be okay." Matt hugged me close and rubbed my back soothingly, like you would when comforting a crying child.

"How do you know it'll be okay? He hates me!" I exclaimed, tugging at my hair with frustration.

"Did he say he hates you?" Matt asked, gently removing my hands from my hair and cupping them lightly.

"No.." I murmured, shifting my gaze to the floor.

"Then relax! This information is a lot for a guy to process, we're not the best at communicating our feelings. Just give it a few hours or a day and I'm sure he'll get in touch with you and this will all be a bad dream."

"You think so?" I asked, hating how vulnerable I sounded.

"I know so." My brother says, before taking me in his arms again and giving me the best hug I could have asked for.

I only hope he's right.

A/N

Mehh I'm not sure on this chapter. I know it seems slow moving but I have a few ideas up my sleeve!

HIT ME WITH YOUR SHIP NAMES PEOPLE ILY.

Oliviaaaaaa xx