Never Let IT Die

The Funniest Things

                            2 hours later...

"You think ya REEEEEAL funny don't you? What if I woulda fell off the bed and hurt myself? Huh?" Cookie said as they walked out the door, their car pulling in from the gates just in time. "I wouldn't have let that happened... I woulda grabbed ya wrist, and then continue wit my actions!" He teased, sticking his tongue out as he opened the door for her. She rolled her eyes as she got in, quickly pulled the door from his hands and slammed it shut. "Cooks... You mad?" He said laughing as he hurriedly rushed to the other door before she could lock it. "Shut yo ass up!" She said, giving him the finger. "When, where, and in what position?" She smacked her lips and turned her attention to her phone. "Where to, Mr. Lyon?" His driver asked him. "To Empire, of cou-" "No, actually Jason, I want you to stop by Tormentó's. We gon go pick her up, I wanna show her this new track I made..." "Will do, Ms- I- I mean, Mrs. Lyon..." Jason stumbled as he started to drive. Cookie turned to Lucious, a smirk on her face. "You musta told everybody at Empire huh?" "Eh, I mighta..." He said, grinning that little devious grin of his. "You a mess, I swear!" She said chuckling a bit. "But I'm your mess...And for the next forever years, you gon deal wit my messiness!" "Ion know bout all that, now..." Cookie mumbled. "You say sum, Cookie Monster?" She shook her head "no" and leaned against his shoulder for the rest of the ride. Just as she was dozing back off, the car came to a stop. "We're here, Mr. Lyon..." Lucious looked up and nodded. "OK, thanks. You can stay out here, we should be out shortly." Jason nodded, and as they got out of the car, J pulled over to park. They walked up the stairs, to Tormentó's loft. As they got closer to her door, the faint ending of Beyonce's Blow could be heard through it. Lucious knocked on the door a good solid 9 times. No answer. "Tormentó!" He said, knocking a little harder. "This child..." He said, taking out a huge ring of keys, and after flipping a few to the side, he pulled out a silver key and jammed it in the keyhole. As soon as they walked in the door, Rihanna's Sex With Me started up. He closed the door, and walked to the main bedroom, raising his hand to knock when suddenly Tormentó rushed out of the room, pulling her shirt over her head, and quickly shutting the door behind her. She quickly grabbed the small remote, pausing the speakers "Heeeey Cookie, h-hey Dad! What y'all doing here so early?" Cookie and Lucious eyed each other. "We uh, we came to pick you up. Cookie just created a hot track that she wanted you to-" "Baby, is everything OK? Cuz we could-" Cardi walked out of Tormentó's room, sporting nothing more than a gold chained g-string. Tormentó dropped her head and sighed. "Cardi...." "Oh, you didn't tell me ya fam was here... Well anyways, good mornin!"Cardi said cheerfully, leaning in with open arms for a hug, towards Lucious. "Um, maybe we'll try this again when you not butt-ass naked?" Cookie said, stepping in front of Lucious. "Well not completely naked, but-" "OK! Um, baby? You know where my stuff is, and I know you brought some stuff, so go head and do whatever real quick, fo Cookie done threw you out the window!" Tormentó said, chuckling. Cardi nodded and walked towards the room. "The hell you doin with that-" "Cookie come on now, give the girl a break..." Lucious said, leaning against the island. "Its not the fact that I don't like her, cuz I do, it's the fact that she was damn near butt- ass naked and didn't realize it!" "I mean she DID used to be a stripper, you know..." T said, starting up some coffee. "And you don't find anything wrong with that?" "C, love comes in different shapes and sizes. You and my dad ain't perfect, but you're perfect for each other, and that's all that- Dad? Your ear is bleeding..." "What?" Lucious said, putting 2 fingers up to his ear, pulling back a shitload of blood. "What the hell?! Baby, get me some alcohol and a cotton ball and T? Get me a bandaid....." Tormentó laughed as Cardi, now dressed in a tight see-through Alexander Wang black dress and 6 inch Red Bottoms, brought them a first aid kit out of the bathroom. "Might I ask what you two were doing when he got the injury?" Tormentó said, dabbing at his ear with the alcohol filled cotton ball. "Well, she didn't wanna wake up, so I used a... A different technique for her..." He said, grinning at the memory. "And?" "Then she-" "And his ear magically got in between my nails as he "woke me up" " Cookie interrupted. "Ha!" Cardi laughed as she sat at the island with a cup of orange juice. "Alright Dad, well, you all set up..." She said, placing the bandage on his ear. "So you say you got fire fa me?" Tormentó said, turning to Cookie. "Yeah, and Cardi could even rap on it too if she wanted..." "Yeah, that would be fun!" There was a silence, then T looked over at Lucious, fidgeting with his bandaid, and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry Dad, even true OGs wear bandaids from time to time!".................