It's like living in a small confined room with no windows or doors.
It's like being trapped in your worst nightmare, except it sounds more like a dream to others.
It's like dying... Slowly.
It's like feeling your muscles tense, your body heat up until you sweat, your heart race while it grows bigger in your chest so it gets harder to live.
It's like having your lungs lose oxygen, but still having enough so that you still look "normal".
It's feeling that you're unworthy of people's love and friendship. Unworthy of your close ones' love and friendship.
It's feeling that you're hopeless, worthless, ugly, hideous from the inside and out.
Impolite... It's not that I'm rude, it's just that I can't speak to you without having the impression that I am dying.
I have to rely on others to make friends for me. Speak for me.
I need to depend on someone, not because I cannot take care of myself but because I don't want to be alone.
I feel compressed, oppressed by this feeling of death, loneliness, unwantedness, hopelessness, ugliness.
I can't function anymore.
I think about it everytime I'm in contact with another human being and everytime I'm not.
I want to cry every night but I'll appear weak.
I want to tell someone but I need you to see me as strong.
I want to die, but I can't even do that because I'm scared of the what ifs, of the hurt I would cause and thoughts you would have.
YOU ARE READING
I am SAD
Poetry"Learning I had Social Anxiety Disorder was hard and terrifying. Knowing I have depression too is killing me." __________________ Random stuff I write when no one is looking... I'm 20 and I have social anxiety disorder and depression...
