Yamino and the Kreepy Krawlies

The Unfriendly Greeting

Confused? Glossary at the end of the chapter!

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An asymmetrical hush fell over the Kuad. The sight of Shah-Mosa's perfect, hourglass figure had rendered them all wordless.

Shah-Mosa's face was absolutely blank as she spread across the shining slopes of the sylindrical table. But her eyes blazed with #angrrr. She said in a light, lyrical tone, "all three traitors, in one place. I shall crush you with my mace."

At the sound of the word 'mace', Yamino blanched, getting jolted into memories of the past...

There he was, on an Indian street, with his frequency detector turned on full. For seven centiyears, he had searched for that perfect vibration, to no avail. He was about to give up, doom himself to a life of misery, but then --

"Kachoris! Hot hot hot kachoris!"

And lo! The frequency detector started beeping! Yamino's thoughts came to a screeching halt as he staggered across the street to the kachori-seller.

"Your voice," he gassed, "it's perfect!"

Shah-Mosa -- for it was indeed she -- just stood there, reading him with her eyes.

Yamino regained his composure, and promptly decided that the ideal way to steal her voice would be to steal her heart.

"My pink proliferous panther, your voice isn't your only perfect part." He attempted an eyebrow waggle, then remembered he had no hair.

"Hello, strange guy. Would you like to buy?" Shah-Mosa asked innocently, holding out a kachori.

Only then did Yamino register her ethereal beauty. Her fingers were like coffee spiderwebs, dark and delicate. Her jet black hair was luscious as a fresh picked cabbage. She had piercing green eyes that glowed like emeralds do in dark moonlight. She was a true phantom of delight.

Yamino took her hand in his and then stroked the kachori with his tongue, gazing into her frazzled eyes.

And so the courtship began...

One week later the homeless Shah-Mosa had moved into Yamino's apartment.

Yamino relished the frequency of Shah-Mosa's voice, the way it made his scalp tingle with new life. It seemed almost magical -- even when she wasn't speaking, he could feel that glorious vibration. Just a few weeks more, and the stimulation would give him the softest, most luxuriant hair the world had ever seen! He would no longer be an egghead, a baldy, mocked for his lubricious noggin.

But it all changed one fateful night, before even a single strand had sprouted from Yamino's skull. An intruder had stolen into Yamino and Shah-Mosa's home, and taken something very precious to Shah-Mosa.

An orb. A small, metallic spherule that occasionally whirred or glowed, and that Shah-Mosa always kept on a chain around her neck. 

In the morning, Yamino discovered he could no longer feel that delicious frequency. It was only then that he figured out that the vibration had come not from Shah-Mosa's voice, but from that whirring orb.

"Took you long enough," snorted a passing logic specialist.

Yamino immediately kicked Shah-Mosa out of his house. As she glissaded away from him, she had shouted one last, dire warning: "The next time I see your face, I shall stroke it with a mace!"

It was this warning that echoed through Yamino's mind as he gazed upon Shah-Mosa in the Kuad. Terror seeped through his arteries like rain into socks. Was she here to finally take her revenge?

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Glossary:

asymmetrical - having parts that are not equal, lopsided

blanched - turned pale

centiyear - one hundreth of a year. Roughly 3.65 days

Kachori - an indian snack, sort of globular and stuffed with spiced lentils, potato, or beans

gassed - talked excessively about trivial matters. Can also mean 'killled or harmed by exposure to gas'. Which it means in this context is up to your interpretation

proliferous - (of a plant or invertebrate) propagating or multiplying by means of buds

phantom of delight - the name of a poem in by William Wordsworth, in which he lovingly describes his wife as a ghost

frazzled - has two meanings: 'completely exhausted' and 'cause to shrivel up with burning'. Again, interpretation in this context is up to you.

luxuriant - thick and healthy

lubricious - Two meanings: 'offensively displaying' and 'smooth and slippery'

noggin - head

spherule - a small sphere. like how a piglet is a small pig

glissade - the act of descending a steep snow slope via a controlled slide on one's feet or buttocks (buttocks in this case). also a ballet move.

mace - a heavy club with a spiked metal head.