Divorced and Learning to Trust

Chapter Forty-Two

"Girl I thought this trip was supposed to be a relaxing trip," Grace said laying on her bed. "It is but we have to entertain the kids too."

"I didn't come her to entertain no one but to drink and sleep!"

"Whatever you know like seeing the smile on Trinity's face when you play with her." She didn't say anything. I knew she was having fun but didn't want to admit it. Deep down she was a huge kid. I was hanging with her since Sapphire and Trinity went with Cordell to a waterpark. I wanted to go but Cordell told me I had to rest, of course I wanted to argue with him but I just let it go. "I wish Cordell would've let me go with them to the water park instead of making me stay here with you."

"Girl please, I am a ton of fun and besides you know damn well Cordell wouldn't let you do anything there if you did get to go." She was right he would probably tell me to sit in the chair the whole time. Sometimes I hated how protective he was but I loved him even more for it.

"So are you still doing that special thing for Cordell tonight?"

"Yes I am and are you still able to watch Sapphire tonight?"

"You already know I will, I'm going to take the girls to the movie theater in the hotel. So what do you have planned for him?"

"I was just going to do something special for him in the room, nothing major but enough to make him feel special. I don't know why I'm so nervous though."

"You shouldn't be nervous I mean you are marrying him. Just relax and everything will be okay."

"Yea but what if he doesn't like it? Maybe he will think it's too much or something."

"Will you stop it, I mean you act like you don't know your fiancé. Cordell loves you and whatever you do for him, he will love. Just be the girl he fell in love with."

"I will try."

"So tell me what you are going to wear for him."

"I was thinking of wearing a short dress that will grab his attention. I just want to be sexy for him before I blow up like a balloon." I rubbed my now semi harden stomach. I was so happy when I felt it was changing. I even woke up Cordell in the middle of the night to feel it. Once he got over the fact that it was one in the morning he was happy too. "You know you two really are the ultimate relationship goals."

"Whatever you say."

I eventually went to my room to get dressed. I was nervous about tonight I didn't know what to do. I wanted Cordell to like this surprise so bad.

I looked through the clothes I brought with me to see what I wanted to wear. I needed something that would capture his attention, I wanted to make up for his birthday. I found a black sequence cocktail dress with my black pumps. I hoped in the shower bathing with a vanilla scented soap. When I was done I dried off and went into the room to do my hair. I decided to let it stay lose and frizzy since I wasn't going anywhere. I applied my make up to match my outfit. I looked at the clock and saw it was almost seven which meant they would be back soon. I pulled on my dress and shoes checking myself out in the mirror.

I dimmed the lights in the room and lit candles throughout to add a more relaxing mood. I had everything set up. I even had a cake brought up for him with his name on it. I really wanted to make up for the birthday he missed because of Lucas.

"What is going?" Cordell came in looking around the room until he landed on me. "You're back?"

"Yes, I am. Tell me why Grace ran out of the room taking our child from before I could come in here."

"Because she is doing me a favor."

"What kind of favor?" I walked up to him taking him by the hand. "Maybe you should sit down and found out for yourself." I gently kissed him on the lips. "You never cease to amaze me." He sat down in one of the chairs never taking his eyes off of me. I took the food that was already prepared and sat it in front of him. "What is all of this baby girl?"

"This is our second chance to make your birthday the way it should've been."

"You didn't need to do this Lelaih."

"Yes, I did especially since it is my fault you missed it." He looked at me and then got up. He picked me up and sat me on his lap. "None of what happened to me is your fault. I don't care if I missed a birthday because I got to wake up to you and Sapphire and to my soon to be son. I will have plenty more birthdays where we will all be there, don't worry about me I'm fine."

"I just wanted to make up for you birthday since it was our first one together."

"Baby I hate to tell you this but all you had to do was wear nothing with whip cream and I would've been pretty damn happy." I shook my head laughing. "You really are a perve."

"No, I'm just a man who knows how sexy his soon to be wife looks naked." I got up and went to get the cake. "Well there is still one thing we have to do for your birthday, no excuses." I sat the cake in front of him and lit the candles. "Make a wish." He looked at me like I had lost my mind. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm dead serious now make a wish." He sighed and then blew out the candles. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. When our child came I would get to do this with them every year and that was something I couldn't wait for. "Okay now that I did that, you have to do something for me."

"And what's that?" he got up swiping some on the cake on his finger and sticking it in his mouth. "First you need to get naked and second I want to eat this cake off of you piece by piece." He stopped in front of me grabbing me by my waist and pulling me to him.

"And what about the food?"

"Oh I plan to eat but it won't be food." He swiftly picked me up throwing me on the bed. I screamed from the sudden movement. "Now this is a happy birthday."

I woke up from the cold air hitting me. I felt for Cordell but found the bed empty near me. I opened my eyes to see he was not in the room either. I looked at the clock and it said it was two in the morning. I climbed out of bed grabbing one of his shirts to put on. I walked out of the room to find him on the balcony looking out at the sky. He had on just his pants which was a quite a view.

"What are you doing out here?" he jumped and looked back at me. "I thought you were sleep."

"I was until I realized you weren't by my side. Answer the question why are you out here Cordell."

"Needed some air to think." I came and stood beside him. "Think about what?"

"About everything that has happened." I looked up at him and for the first time he didn't look okay. I could tell something was eating him up. "Talk to me."

"I just keep thinking about how I almost lost everything. How I wasn't there to protect you from that guy because I was too busy being mad and stayed longer at work. I should've came home."

I never thought he would be feeling like this. I knew he felt guilty for what happened but I didn't know he blamed himself. If anything I blamed myself for what happened not him. I kept telling myself if I wouldn't have come into their life then none of this would've happened. From the time I found him in the hospital room, I immediately blamed myself. I would've killed myself if he wouldn't have woke up. I would sit in that chair and watch his chest go up and down just to make sure he was still alive. There was so many times I wanted to shake him awake but I would hold back because I knew it would never work.

"Cordell you shouldn't think that way."

"And what way should I think? I literally sat in my office to prove a damn point and all I did is almost cost myself my future. I put you and Sapphire in danger."

"Okay stop it! You are not the only one who is responsible for what happened, we both had a part in it."

"And what part did you have?"

"For one, I shouldn't have said what I said to make you stay. And second I was the one that brought Lucas into our life."

"You can't blame yourself for having a crazy ex-husband who beat you. I should've been there to protect you and I wasn't." nothing I said was going to make him change his mind. "Fine, then how about this, we make a promise to never let something like that happen again. The next time we have a fight like that, we don't leave until we have everything settled. Life is too short for us be fighting and holding grudges, so let's not have them."

"I love you Lelaih Jackson."

"I'm not a Jackson yet."

"You will be soon."