Divorced and Learning to Trust

Chapter Sixty-Two

Since Cordell was at work for a half a day I was going to my mom's and spend the day with her. I hated just laying around at the house by myself especially when I could barely move around and get what I wanted. I was at the point where I relied on people and I hated it.

I pulled on a loose grey t-shirt dress and struggled to put on my flats. I left my hair loose since I was too tired to even mess with it. Since my stomach was bigger now and the car was too small for me drive in, Cordell was making me drive the Range Rover. It was either this or he hire a driver to drive me everywhere and I was not having that.

"Ma! Ma, where are you?!" I closed the door and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. I looked in the fridge and found she had made baked parmesan chicken. I put some on a plate and put it in the microwave.

"Why every time you come in this house, you eating my food?" I turned around with a sneaker in my mouth to see my mom coming in with just her robe on. "I was hungry."

"You always hungry. What you got in my microwave?"

"The leftover parmesan chicken."

"How you know I didn't want that myself? You gonna quit comin' in here eating up all my damn food. You got a rich ass fiancé, tell his ass to buy you some food."

"I ate all the food at home." The microwave stopped and I took the food out and went to the table. I immediately dug in loving every moment. "You better stop all that eating before you put on more than baby weight."

"You sound like Cordell."

"Speaking of which, does he know you eating all this junk?"

"No and don't tell him. If he knew what I was eating he would flip. Since it's getting close to the due date, he has went ultra-control freak on me. He won't even let me walk to the bathroom without him helping me."

"He just doing his job baby. You should be happy he cares so much about you and the babies. You found yourself a good one, so if he goes a little crazy just hold your tongue and enjoy the attention." I thought about what she said, she was right I did enjoy the attention he gave me. I liked how much he cared about me and my health. I did find a good one this time and I was never going to let him go.

"Now where my granddaughter?"

"She at school." I took another bite. I was almost done and I was still hungry. "So tell me, do you like being a mother?"

"I love being a mother. I mean sometimes it gets overwhelming but I enjoy every moment of it."

"Just wait until she gets older, you gonna have to fight every boy that come her way."

"Not when they see Cordell." She laughed. "Yea that man is not going to let anyone near that girl." I finished up my food and then got up went back to the fridge. I found an ice cream sandwich. "You think you ready to be mother to those twins you carrying?" I turned around and sighed. "I don't know. I want to believe I can do it but I'm afraid I won't be able to. I keep thinking about all the mistakes I can make."

"Baby there is no doubt that you will make mistakes, but what counts is how you handle the mistakes. Being a parent isn't about not making mistakes, it's about being there for your children." She got up walked over to me. "And that's where I went wrong, I wasn't there for you and that was my mistake. But I decided that if I wanted to be a good mother that I had to stop being selfish and be there for my child. You will be a good mother Lelaih stop doubting yourself."

"I guess I'm just nervous."

"Why? You already taking care of Sapphire, it's no difference."

"I didn't raise her from birth like I will with the twins. When I came into the picture she was already perfect."

"Baby that child wasn't and still isn't perfect. She was hurting and lonely just like her father until you came into the picture. And now that you are in the picture she is going to need you to guide her the rest of the way. She is going to need her mother. Just like the twins will need their mother." I nodded loving the advice from my mother.

"So you ready for the wedding, it is in a few weeks."

"Actually I can't wait for the wedding, I feel like I have been planning this for forever."

"So you're sure this what you want?"

"Mom I haven't been surer about anything then I am right now. I know this is the right decision to make."

"I'm glad to hear that because it cost too much for my dress for this not to be happening. I'm telling you this now yo momma gonna be sexy." I laughed out loud. "Omg mom that is too much information for me to know."

"What yo momma can't be sexy anymore?!"

"Anyway Conrad asked to walk me down the aisle."

"Is that right, what did you say?" I looked down and then into her eyes. "I told him I would love that. I always wanted someone to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day and I think he's perfect." She smiled, "I couldn't agree more. I always wanted you to have some kind of father figure in your life and knowing he wants to be there for you like that makes me feel good. I know I can't always give you what you need when it comes to life, so let him in Lelaih and see where it goes."

When I finally decided to go home I was hungry all over again. When I stepped foot in the door I found Cordell laying on the couch knocked out with the TV on. He had his mouth wide open as he snored out loud.

I went by him and went to the kitchen to find some food. I knew I had some since I told Cordell to go grocery shopping before he got home. I found Sapphire at the table eating Oreos with milk while coloring.

"Mommy you're home!"

"Yea and you're in here sneaking eating cookies while your daddy is sleeping." She bit her lip as she tried to come up with some sort of answer. "Don't worry lady bug I won't tell him but next time ask before you go around sneaking food." She nodded. "Since you seem to want sweets so much how about we make cinnamon rolls?"

"Yea!"

"Alright then let's do it!" we got out the things and started to prepare the mix. "Mommy can we go to the zoo one day?"

"Sure, why do you want to go?"

"I saw on TV that they have lions and giraffes! I also want to see the monkeys!"

"What about the tigers and bears?" she looked up at me with big eyes. "They have them too?!"

"Yea lady bug and whole lot of other animals too." I put the rolls in the oven. "We really have to go now!"

"And where do we have to go," Cordell asked coming into the kitchen looking like he just got up. "Well, if it isn't Mr. Sleepy head?" he smiled. "I just took a little nap. I had a ton of meetings this week and just needed some rest."

"Its fine baby and Sapphire was just talking about going to the zoo."

"Well, I guess we gonna have to make that happen. What's in the stove?"

"Cinnamon rolls."

"Good cause I'm hungry." He rubbed his stomach and came to me kissing me on my cheek then my stomach. "What you do today, I got home and you weren't here?"

"I went to my mom's and spent the day there."

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay. What you do there?"

"Nothing we just talked."

"About?"

"About the babies coming and the approaching wedding. Anything else you want to know about?"

"What about the wedding did you talk about?"

"Nothing but does remind me that we have the wedding rehearsal coming up."

"Seriously what happens at those things anyway?"

"What the name says, it's a rehearsal which means we will rehearse what will happen the wedding and then we have a dinner where toast and all that other good crap happens."

"Sounds like fun."

"It will be and you will be behave like a good little future husband."

"Whatever you say future wife."