Divorced and Learning to Trust

Chapter Sixty-Six

We finally pulled up in front of the hospital and I jumped out with Lelaih in my arms. She had been passed out for the last five minutes and I could barely feel her pulse. "Can somebody help me, my wife needs help!" her blood was now covering the arms of my tux as it dripped behind me. The nurses rushed to me with a gurney and put her on it. They quickly took her to the back not giving me any time to say anything. All I could do was watch as my new wife was dragged off unconscious. My mom pulled me back and made me sit down in the waiting room. I didn't want to just wait, I wanted to know what was going on with Lelaih. One minute she was fine and happy and the next she was gripping me with blood rapidly pouring from her.

I put my head down in my arms on my lap sighing. "Don't worry baby, I'm sure she will be fine. Lelaih is a fighter, she will fight to be here with you."

"Why do we always have to fight? Why can't we just be happy for once?"

"That's life for you, sometimes it's amazing but sometimes it takes everything out of you. It's not about how you come out of it, it's how you handle it."

"Well I don't know how I'm going to handle this if I lose her."

After an hour a doctor came out with blood all over him. "Mr. Jackson?" I stood up. "Where's my wife?"

"Right now we have her being prepared for surgery."

"Surgery?"

"Yes, she has lost a lot of blood due to her sudden detachment of her placenta from her uterine wall."

"So what happens now?"

"Because of this we are going to have to do an emergency C-section to deliver the babies and hope for the best."

"What about my wife, how will she be doing?"

"All I can say is we will do our best to make sure both your wife and your babies come out this alive. We know how stressful this is for you so I can promise you will do our very best to end this day happily for you." I nodded and he left rushing back to the back.

For hours I sat in the waiting room for any news. The more I waited the more nervous I got. I couldn't understand how this could happen on our wedding day. For months we had planned this and when it finally happens, this happens. All I wanted was for everything to be okay and for me to have my wife and my children. I wouldn't let them bring Sapphire here but they kept telling me she was not backing down. I eventually told them they could bring her. I knew she wanted to be here too, this was her mom. I could feel tears building up in my eyes. I was trying to keep it together but I was quickly losing.

Few minutes later Sapphire came running in climbing onto my lap. She wiped the tears from my eyes and laid on my chest. "Daddy I want mommy back."

"I know, me to baby girl. Me too." I sat back in my chair and waited for some news to come in.

Everyone was starting to get restless. I could tell they wanted to know what was going on with Lelaih. It had been hours since we heard anything and I was tired of not knowing. "You think everything is okay in there," her mom asked shaking her leg up and down. "You can't think that way," my mom said.

"I know, I just want my baby to be okay." She had been crying more than me. I knew if Lelaih was here right now she would be happy about the emotion shared for her. She never thought she could have this and yet here it was. My dad had been distant the entire time. I knew he wasn't taking this well since he had grown close to Lelaih. She had become like a daughter to him. I got up and made my way to him placing Sapphire in the chair.

"How you holding up dad?" he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Can't believe this is happening. If I lose her too then that would mean I have lost two daughters in one lifetime." He sighed and slid down on the wall to the floor with his head buried in between his hands. I sat by him. "They keep telling me I can't think that way."

"Yea well that's what they tell you to cover up that, that's the way they feeling."

"I've never seen you so negative like this pop." He looked up with sad eyes. This entire thing was really affecting him. "She is a part of the family son, no matter how new, she is a part of the family and now we are about to lose her. That girl has been through so much and it just seems like she can't get a break. The look in that girl's eyes before I walked her to you was filled with nothing but happiness, now look at her." I looked over at Sapphire, who was sitting in the chair playing with a necklace Lelaih had gotten her for today. I didn't want to think about the pain she was going through right now. My little girl had finally found someone to call her mother, had finally someone other than me to trust and now she may be taken away from her. "She's going to make it. She has to."

After another thirty minutes the doctor came back out. We all stood up. "How did it go?"

"We were able to successfully deliver the babies but because of their early delivery and weight, we had to admit them to the neonatal intensive care unit until they are able to breathe on their own."

"What about my wife?"

"Right now she is stable but only time will tell how well she heals. She lost a lot of blood and came close to giving up, she needs all the rest she can get."

"Can we go see her?" he looked down at the report then back at me. "You can but she is still under the narcotics we have her on. Just give her time and let's see what happens." He gave us the room number and we took off to find it. My heart was in my chest as I walked further to her room. I was afraid of what I might to see. I hated to see Lelaih in any pain and I hated I couldn't take this pain away. I was supposed to protect her.

Once we made it to her room I breathed in before pushing the door open. In there I found her with tubes and IV's hooked up to her going every which way. She was still unconscious and that just made my heart hurt worse. "My baby!" her mom screamed pushing past me to go in the room. I stood in the back as I watched the others tend to her. I was happy she wasn't dead but I was still in pain over the whole thing.

Soon my mom came up to me where I was standing. "You're mighty quiet over here." I just shrugged. "Boy don't shrug at me. Now tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

"Nothing. Just observing."

She sighed, "I know this is hard on you Cordell. I know you must be hurting but you can't shut down, not now. When you were in here that girl never left your side. She was there for you now you have to be there for her."

"I'm trying mamma, I'm trying. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want my wife back and the happy life I was promised."

"I get that but you have to be patient. Nothing ever happens the way we want to and when things do happen, it's not about how we get to the other side but how we react when it happens."

"So how am I supposed to react to this?"

"You are supposed to get your ass over there to your wife and stand by her the way she stood by you. You are married now, it's time to start acting like it." I nodded. I looked over at Lelaih and saw Sapphire fast asleep beside her. I smiled. "Can you take Sapphire with you?"

"I really think she needs to stay here."

"She probably does but I don't want her here going through this. If something does happen and it's not good, I don't want her to witness it. You can bring her back tomorrow when I know more about what's happening."

"Okay." She stepped on her tippy toes and kissed me on the cheeks then pulled me into a hug. "Just stay strong for me baby boy." She kissed me one last time before rounding up everyone to leave. They all hugged me before exiting telling me how everything was going to be okay. I didn't say much but just nodded.

Once they were all gone I slowly took off my jacket and made my way to where she was lying. She looked peaceful, far from how she looked hours ago. I slipped off my shoes and unbuttoned my shirt. I carefully climbed in the bed with her making sure not to hurt her. For a minute I just stared at her face and watching how her chest breathed up and down. I needed to reassure myself she was still alive. I gently rubbed the back of my hand up and down her cheek loving the feeling of her soft skin. I sighed bringing her closer to me.

I took her left hand in mine interlocking our hands, "I promise you I will always be here for you no matter what. Through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, until death do us part." I bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips before settling down beside her to try and put this day behind me.