Divorced and Learning to Trust

Chapter Thirty-Eight

So it has been another week stuck in this hospital with no sign that Cordell is ready to wake up. They say he could any minute it's just a matter of when. I hate waiting, not knowing what's going on. I hate the most that Cordell isn't with me. Not to mention I was stuck in this bed only allowed of it to go to the restroom. I hated this.

Every time I would ask to leave the doctor would tell me no. I just wanted to be back by Cordell's side. I needed to tell him I was there for him.

"Why do you look so down," Denise said walking in. I just looked at her not in the mood. "What do you want?"

"I came to see my favorite boss in the world."

"Go away."

"No can do, your family sent me and told me to keep you company."

"I don't want any company."

"Well that's not my probably." She sat down taking out some papers. "Maybe these will make you feel better."

"What are these?"

"These are some more designs that have the improvements you wanted."

"You could've looked over them and told me if you thought they were up to par or not. I told you I trust your judgement."

"I know you do but I figured doing some work would help take your mind of some things. I mean we do have a line to put together."

"So Mr. Richards is still going to let me do the line? I thought he would designated it to someone else."

"He did say you could be excused from this project if you wanted to and then do another one when things calm down."

"Nah I think you are right, I need to work so I can feel kind of normal. If I don't I will go crazy being in this bed with nothing to do."

"I know this hard on you but everything will be okay. We both know that man is a fighter and would never leave you or Sapphire willingly. Don't lose faith."

"Easier said than done. One minute I am sure he will pull through and then I am sure he is going to leave me. I am just so scared he is going to lose this fight that I don't know what to do."

"Don't think that way, you just have to believe everything will be okay and it will."

"Mommy!" Sapphire ran in jumping on me hugging me. "Lady bug!"

"I missed you mommy!"

"And I missed you lady bug." I kissed her all over her face. "How is my little sister doing?"

"She is doing fine munchkin." She smiled and snuggled up to me. Even though, this has been a tough time one good thing has come out of this, Sapphire and I have gotten way closer. We have truly established a mother daughter relationship where she knows she can talk to me about anything. And now that I am pregnant I didn't want her to think she was going to be left out. I wanted her to know she will always be a priority to me. I know she has never had a mother so I wanted her to know that I wasn't going anywhere no matter what happens.

Denise and I continued to work, working on the designs and picking the ones we thought were better for the company. Sapphire had fallen asleep snuggled up to me.

"Man you are going to be a great mom, you already are."

"What makes you say that?"

"The way you are with her. You treat her like a princess even though she's not yours. Anyone that can do that willingly is definitely going to be a good mother."

"Thanks Denise, I really appreciate that. I just hope I can keep this baby safe and actually have her. So nervous something will happen that will cause me to lose her." I rubbed my stomach trying to calm down.

"You wouldn't get this miracle for it to be taken away from you."

"I thought that about Cordell but look at where he is now."

"Alright well how about this, you have to keep faith because if you lose it then have already lost."

"I will try to keep faith, I just hope Cordell will wake up soon. I can't take this stress of not knowing."

"I thought you would be sleeping," my mom asked glaring at me. She would always drop by to make sure I was doing what I was supposed to. She was determined to make sure me and this baby stayed safe. I think she was more worried about the baby then me. This was her first biological grandchild so she was in super parent mode. She watched everything I did from the food I ate to the amount of sleep I got. Honestly it was annoying to be told what to do especially when all I wanted to do was think about Cordell alone. I just wanted some alone time but that was obviously not going to happen while this baby was inside me. I knew they just wanted the best for me but I felt smothered, if it wasn't for the doctors it was my mother or Elizabeth. I just needed some alone time.

"I had some work to do."

"Work equals stress and we both know you don't need stress."

"It's better than the stress I get from worrying about Cordell. I need to work so I won't crazy in this damn room."

"Fine but I'm telling you the first sign you are pushing yourself, I am taking the work off the table."

"Mom I am not a child, I know how to work and when to stop when I am feeling it's too much. I don't need you monitoring me like a baby."

"I know that but I also know you have a lot going on so I am just here as a precaution in case you let some things slip through the cracks. So until that fiancé of yours wakes up and takes on the job himself, I will just have to do it rather you like it or not." This was another reason I needed Cordell to wake up, to save me from my mother.

"Well on that note I am leaving and I will be back with the things we discussed." Denise left out leaving just my mother and a sleeping Sapphire. "You want me to take her or leave her here with you?" I looked down at Sapphire.

"I know she would love to stay."

"Yea she is always asking to come see you. She's a strong one but she is definitely in need of some support. She needs you Lelaih."

"I know but a hospital is no place for a child to sleep besides she has to go to school tomorrow."

"I could bring her some clothes and then take her from here." I sighed.

"Mom I will be there for her when I am out here. I don't want here being exposed to this kind of thing, I know you and Elizabeth are taking good care of her. I see her every day, she knows I love her."

"I understand that but I think having her here would not only help you but her. But since you insist on being stubborn I will take her to my place. I will bring her back tomorrow but you should seriously think about letting her stay with you over the weekend."

"I will mom." I kissed Sapphire on the forehead. I unwrapped her little arms from around me and let my mom pick her up. He stirred at first as if she was about to wake up but stayed asleep.

When they left I laid back thinking about what I was going on in my life. I just wanted things to go back to how they were. I wanted my happy life back. Truth was I couldn't fully be there for Sapphire since I wasn't okay myself. I was cracking and any minute I was going to completely lose it. One more piece of bad news and over the edge I was going. I wasn't made for this kind of thing and it was starting to wear my body out.

I looked down at my belly I rubbed it. Don't get me wrong I wanted my baby to be okay but I was praying Cordell would wake up and join me on this joyous ride. I decided I did need to take a nap since I was feeling a little down.

I woke up to something touching my face like a feather or something. I slowly opened my eyes to find out what it was. At first I thought it was Sapphire but that all went out the window when I saw what it was. I sat up as if it was a monster, I couldn't believe my eyes. "What-what are you doing?"

"I can't come see how my fiancé is doing?" I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. "I thought I had lost you."

"I keep telling you sweetheart you can't get rid of me that easy." He bent down kissing me and for the first time my body felt alive as if I could finally breathe again. I finally had my other half back and I hoped like hell this wasn't a dream.