Unknown's Messages//Phan

Chapter 20

Word Count: 1168 (I'm proud of this chapter, not gonna lie)

Phil was the first to wake up, at about ten-thirty the following morning. He looked down ever so slightly to see Dan's head rested on the pillow, one arm underneath him and the other thrown over Phil. While their legs were laced together, Phil had one arm under Dan and the other over him, fingers in the boy's messy brown hair.

The older boy admired Dan's face for a few more minutes, taking in his closed eyes showing his long lashes and how his lips were slightly parted. Thinking he was being a little creepy, Phil shuffled around a little bit to stare straight up at the ceiling.. And this was where his worrying began.

His mind filled up, tears gathered in his eyes and his lip quivered. What happened now? Dan had already said he couldn't stay with him and that was understandable but now where do they both go? They could never go back to their houses, that'd be stupid. Neither wanted to go to the police either. All they both wanted was for the drama to be over.

After around twenty minutes of Phil continuing to worry, Dan stirred slightly before opening his eyes. 

"Morning" mumbled Lester, not tearing his eyes away from the white ceiling.. Well, it was meant to be white but it was actually quite brown and mucky.

"Good morning" Dan hummed, shuffling closer to Phil and snuggling into his side, moving his arm slightly so that it was over the older boy's stomach "What's wrong?"

"What happens now?" 

"What d'you mean?" 

"Well we can't really stay together now but neither of us can go home. What do we do? Dan, I'm scared" Phil uttered, letting out a small sigh after speaking. He just wanted to move far, far away with Dan and never have to re-live or deal with any of this ever again.

"I don't know, Phil. I really don't" Dan was scared too. He was terrified, to be honest. He'd got no idea on what to do or where to go, he just wished this would all just be a nightmare and he'd wake up soon. But this was no simple nightmare in his sleep, it was a nightmare in his life and you can't just wake up from life, unfortunately.

"I feel so bad. My back's killing" frowned Phil, closing his eyes and shuffling a little in attempt to get comfortable.

"Go for a bath? Have a soak" 

"I don't want to be alone"  

"You'll be fine, Philly" Dan murmered, struggling to resist the urge to kiss him.  

"I'll rephrase that; I'm scared to be alone" 

Dan didn't respond, simply rolled over and slipped out of bed, heading straight into the bathroom. A frown slipped onto Phil's face, his mind filling with worry that Dan thought he was being stupid. 

A moment later, the boy reappeared and pulled the duvet off of Phil, causing him to flinch. 

"Please don't hurt me" whimpered Phil, squeezing his eyes shut in fear.

"W.. what? Phil, no, I'd never hit you" frowned Dan, taking his hand sadly.

"Uh.. uh sorry" 

Howell just shook his head in dismissal and smiled sympathetically when Phil sat up and sighed. Phil got pulled into the bathroom, where the taps were letting water gush out and drop into the bath.

"I'll stay if you'd like me, s'long as you wear boxers" Dan told him, cheeks flushing a pretty pink colour. 

Phil simply nodded, his own cheeks probably turning a light pink colour as he watched Dan check the water wasn't too hot or too cold. 

Once the bath was run, Phil stripped down to his boxers and climbed into the bath while Dan sat cross-legged on the floor beside the bath, staring awkwardly down at his lap and just thinking about things.

What were they? Dan really really liked Phil and Phil seemed to like Dan? They'd cuddled a lot and kissed a few times too yet they were still labeled as friends and Dan wasn't sure if he wanted more than that. 

He was scared. Terrified. Of it all, relationships, friendships, family, the public, his own thoughts. The worst was his own mind, the things that were in there. The voices, the thoughts, the demons that seemed to be at war with him. 

Before Phil, his demons were winning. He'd fought and fought and fought but he decided there was no longer any point and so decided on giving in. And then Unknown appeared in his life and unknown made him happy, frustrated, but happy too. When Unknown was outted to him as Phil, he panicked. 

"Dan? Are you okay?" Phil questioned, snapping Dan out of his trance.

"Yeah, why d'you ask?"

"You're crying" Phil sighed, reaching over the side of the bath and using his hand to move Dan's face so he'd look up.

"O-oh, sorry"

With that, Phil climbed out of the bath... It had been over half an hour anyway... and the first thing he did was wipe away Dan's tears.

"Don't be sorry. Don't cry, please"

"C-can I be left alone please? I-I'm going to h-have a bath" stammered Dan, fingers fiddling with the bottom of his shirt that he'd put on to keep warm whilst Phil was bathing.

"O-oh, of course" Phil nodded, going to grab a towel and head out of the bathroom.

"W-wait, I.. Um.. Can you help me take this shirt of please? M-my body's sh-shaking a-and I don't know why"

Phil didn't reply and just turned around, taking the bottom of Dan's shirt and pulling it up and over his head. Sadly, Phil bit his bottom lip and looked up at Dan.

"Is it my fault?"

"What?"

"Have I done something to make you sad?"

"No, no! I was just thinking about my past, it doesn't matter" dismissed Dan "Now go"

Dan's actions were odd; definitely dismissive and as though he was trying to shut Phil out, which saddened the older boy. Nodding sadly, Lester grabbed a towel and walked out of the bathroom and into the room where he changed boxers before sitting on top of the bed, closing his eyes and thinking.

Howell had quite a quick bath, feeling guilty for the way he acted with Phil for no reason other than nerves. He kepted picturing Phil's sad, watery eyes as he left the bathroom and that made him sad because Phil didn't deserve to be sad. 

Once out of the bath, Dan hurried out of the bathroom, not even bothering to dry off or change. Seeing Phil sat on the bed cross-legged and looking sad made Dan's heart ache.

"Philly" whimpered Howell, crawling on the bed up to Phil's side "M'sorry I was like that"

"Don't be baby" Phil whispered, wrapping both of his arms around Dan quite happily before my thoughts popped up in his mind and it hit him like a truck, really. He couldn't stay with Dan. Not while he was still seventeen.

"What's wrong?"

"Danny, baby, we can't stay together. We need to do something about this. I'm sorry but we can't just ignore our problems. Life doesn't work like that"