After hours and hours of no sleep and endless thinking, I came to the realization that I'm in love with Ray. Everything we have gone through couldn't amount to the way I feel about her. I'm just extremely good at putting up a front.
What about Mya? I didn't want to just drop her. But she doesn't even compare to Ray. I picked up my phone and stared at the text I had been staring at for the longest.
Ray: Please text me when you want to talk. I need closure in person if you don't want to start over.
Me: Come over whenever.
She sent her text 4 hours ago at midnight. It was 4:03am and I didn't even expect her to be awake. But she quickly shot a text back saying she was on her way. I took my tired ass out of bed and went downstairs. She knocked on the door moments later and let her in.
"I've been up all night just waiting." She said sounding nervous.
"Ray.. Suriya Mcguire. Lord. I can't believe after everything you've put me through, I can never seem to get over you. It's fucking pissing me off. I'm a fucking thug. I'm a pimp! Pimps don't have to go through this love shit. I really want to say Fuck you and your apology but I still love you." I explained looking at the floor.
"Oh my god. You really do. You still love me." She said as more of a statement than a question. I nodded and bit my lip. She did the unexpected and wrapped her arms around me, lifting me off the ground. She squeezed me tightly as I threw my arms around her in reflex.
"Ray put me down!" I said not as loudly as I wanted to so I wouldn't wake AJ or Jshaun up.
"I've thought about this moment every single day for the past few months J. You don't know how excited I am. I just didn't expect you to still feel the same about me." She said as tears ran down her cheeks.
"I didn't expect it either. I don't know how I could even forgive you. Maybe it's your eyes. I fell for your eyes first." I said wiping the tears off her eyes. She squeezed me a bit tighter and sobbed into my chest.
"I'm so sorry. So sorry. For hurting you so much. I can't believe I was ever so childish and money hungry. I love you too much. I want to protect you from now on." Her voice was muffled but I heard every word. How thuggish can I be when the love of my life is holding me and crying like this?
She let me down and I kissed her forehead while holding her face with both hands.
"Stop crying. You're making it hard for me to keep my composure in this bitch." I said feeling my face get warm.
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She laughed and shook her head at me.
"I love that about you. You are so strong. You're definitely a thug at heart. I know you are J." She kissed me so passionately. I felt 1000 emotions at once.
"J you good?!" I heard from the stairs. AJ.
"Yeah I'm fine!" I yelled back.
"Alright. Just making sure." I heard her door close and looked back at Ray. Her face scrunched up in confusion.
"Who was that?" She asked.
"My sister. My twin sister AJ. People have a real funny way of showing they care about me. Always faking their death and what not." I said with a chuckle.
"Wow. I don't even know what to say. How couldn't you tell she was your twin?" She asked.
"Well she has different features than me. I just thought it could have been possible for her to be older than me. I'll explain all of that later. For now, I need to go to sleep. I'm exhausted. You need sleep too. So do you want to sleep here tonight?" I asked hopefully.
"Of course I do." She said grinning. We went to my room, stripped down to our underwear, and laid in my bed. She put her arm over me and we were both out.
***
"Are we together?" Ray asked. She was talking to herself though. I was laying on my stomach with my face turned away from her. "Or are we just taking things slow?"
"God, I promise this girl, I won't break her heart again. I won't do her wrong again. This is my last chance I feel it. So I won't fuck her over again. I swear I'll be here for her whenever she needs me. Man help her realize she can be a crybaby around me because I know she don't want to act like a thug 25/8. Help us both please. Don't let no other bitch come between us cause I swear she has hoes and I have poor judgement. I got her though. I'm gonna make her mine again." She stopped talking and began to hum a song. I quickly recognized it as Hot Like Fire by Aaliyah.
"That's my song." I said. I felt her jump and laughed.
"You've been awake? For how long? You didn't hear me before did you?" She asked sitting up.
"I heard you humming." I lied. "Ray if you're really serious about us, I need to know. I have other people that like me and I don't need to be wasting my time. I'm too grown for that shit." I said sitting up next to her.
"I swear to you. On my life. I want to give you my all." She said without a single twitch in her body or crack in her voice.
"I need to think about this. But keep your hopes up Ray. I want you to meet Jshaun and AJ before we become anything again." I said.
"Your twin sister and your son. That's gonna be great." She said nervously. I laughed and kissed her neck playfully.
Everything I heard her say before I 'woke up' had me in the best mood.
"I love you Jalea." She said smiling.
"I love you too Ray." Then my phone started to ring. But it wasn't who I expected... Why the fuck is she calling?
