The Baguette King: a Crafting Vegeto Baguette Boy story

Baguette Boy is born

"Yes, fan art of Baguette Boy!" Vegeto laughed.
"Omg yes!" Ikea Man laughed.
Vegeto froze.

Baguette Boy...

Something about that name was familiar to him. He thought for a minute.
"Uh, Vegeto you okay?" I.K. Asked.
Vegeto shook his head. "No."
Their youtube video had already ended. Vegeto kept thinking about the thought. "Vegeto...?" I.K. Said. "Your thinking too hard. I.... I think your brain's gunna explode." Sure enough, Vegeto's face was red with all the blood in his head, and blue.
... cause he... wasn't... breathing....
Me:*agitated facepalms and sighs*
Vegeto looked around. "Who the hell did that?!"
I.K. laughed. Suddenly, In his mind from Soul Eater started playing out of nowhere. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING OOOON!!!" Vegeto screamed grabbing his head. "Where the fuck is that music coming from?!"
"Dunno, dude." I.K. Said. "But I'm gunna let you go. Sort this out." And with that, I.K. ended the skype.
"Dude..." Vegeto said quietly and staring at the screen. "... not. Cool."
Vegeto groaned as he decided to just order pizza for dinner. Strangely, the pizza came with a... a BAGUETTE?!?! Vegeto just stared at the piece of baking, unsure what to do with it. Well, he knew what to do with it. Frankly, he was just a little too scared to eat it, since he had no idea where the fuck it came from. Vegeto snapped his fingers. "I know!" He exclaimed. "I'll burn it." He said with a dark, creepy grin.
The grin on his face made him look like he was going to rape it. He slowly leaned over and picked up the baguette. I swear, if this thing was alive, it would be shaking and would have shit itself. He slowly walked through his house, and into the kitchen, his face never losing it's creepy ass grin. In fact, it was getting creepier.
... if even possible.
Vegeto opened a drawer, took out a red lighter, closed it, and slowly went back to his room. He turned out the lights. He sat back down in his chair, and flicked the lighter on. It's fire was casting shadows all over his face, makimg him look creepier than Jeff the Killer and Slenderman combined. The baguette shriveled up slightly, and Vegeto noticed.
... it had just shit itself.
Vegeto brought the lighter up to the piece of baking, and lit it on fire. He held it like a torch. His grin changed into a regular bored, focused, and serious look that only he could pull off.
"Mom... I'm sorry I couldn't make it home for potluck tonight..." The baguette said weakly.
Before Vegeto had time to react, the baguette exploded. "HOLY BALLS!!!" He screamed.
A small light appeared in his hand. Vegeto immediately dropped it. It hit the floor with a crunch. "Ow..." It said.
Vegeto's eyes widened. "What.... the.... fuck."
The little golden light floated back up to him. It lunged itself at his face and stopped in between his eyes. "Don't you ever to that again, idiot!!" It yelled.
Vegeto's eyes were crossed, staring at the... thing. It formed into a little fairy, with baguette slices for wings. He she looked pissed. She glared at him. She examined him up and down. "Your a king? But your so...." she said in a high pitched voice. She stopped in front of his face and gave him a bored and disgusted look. "Pitiful."
"Hey!" Vegeto yelled.
"Disgusting."
Vegeto then tried to squash her. "If you do that, then I won't be able to take you to your kingdom, your highness." She did a small bow while smirking at him.
Me: *sings* Blackmaiiil~
Vegeto looked around. "Who the fuck is that now?!"
Me: I'm the narrator.
Vegeto was flustered. "WH-WH-WHAAAAA?! ARENT YOU THE ONE I HEARD EARLIER??!!"
Me:*sighs and puts head in hands*... Yes.
Vegeto sighed. "Well. Now that that's out of the way." Vegeto looked back at the fairy, smiling.
Me: WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!
He ignored me. "Whats up with you?" He asked, poking her flower petal dress.
She swatted him away. "Hey! Knock it off!!" She yelled.
Vegeto stopped. "Thank you." She replied. "Your starting to earn some respect from me. Some, and starting are the keywords here."
Vegeto felt offended.
"Look." The fairy sighed. She tossed her toasted toffee hair over her shoulder, and opened her caramel eyes. "Your a king. The king of Baguette Land. That is where I am from. You are our king. We also have a hero of the kingdom named Baguette Boy. But once you dissapeared with the royal family, so did he." She crossed her arms and looked away from him.
"Really?" Vegeto asked.
She snapped her head back at him. "Hrmph! Weren't you listening?! Yes!" She screamed, agitated with him.
"Oh great..." Vegeto sighed. "A sassy fairy." He rolled his eyes. "Please tell me not all of my citizens are like you!" He made fish lips and puffed out his cheeks.
"Oh my God- HOW DARE YOU!!!" SHE screeched.
In his mind started playing again. Vegeto looked around furiously. "What the hell!!!! Where is this damn music coming from??!!"