help

/heaven/

our world was always showered with strange light, beautiful colors and sights filled our images with soft line and a significance only a god could gift.

but he wasn't a god. he was of low being, splitting words lighting every word on fire, every sense sent pulsing, every nerve aching.

a strong emotion of inadequacy overcame me as i stared at this otherworldly being. his status was mine, his voice echoed with the harps, fingers looping around at a slow pace, pain and frustration in his voice.

yet it felt as though as i was in bliss, my heart thumping with spiritual connection, my eyes tearing and refracting the lights only a heaven could create.

every time i looked at the voice, i felt an elevation inside of me, a revelation in my life.

as soon as the harmonies stopped, the split heaven closed, clouds dimming and filling with rage.

I was it hit with pain and suffering. my heaven was over, my life was ending.

it wasn't heaven.

it was a hell. my existence became dreary through experience and knowledge, my innocence and ignorance gone and destroying the image I had only seen once.

my heaven left with the god, the tree of life consuming me and destroying me, vines and routes of sin entrapped me.

i struggle to break free.

I struggle to see the lights anymore.

its all sin.