help

journal xi

//mine//
they flocked softly and loosely, still floating in a loose formation.
the wind caught them, shaking the dark birds off course.
it reminded me that you can't control everything.
there are things you must accept so you can continue to fly.
one bird didn't let the wind take him- and he flew.
and he fell.

//original//
he smiled understandingly- much more than understandingly. it was one of those rare smiles with a quality of assurance in it, that you may come across four or maybe five times in your life. it faced- or seemed to face- the whole external world, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. it understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed i you as you would like to believe in yourself.
-the great gatsby

prompt; choose a verse from a song or poem or a section of a book and imitate it. it can either be a direct imitation, with formatting the same way, or it can be a loose imitation.

outcome; as a poet, i decided to choose the loose imitation so i wrote through it in a more direct and structural formatting before rewording and cutting down a lot into a loose imitation. the imitation came out way better.