help

failures

//this is a warning! this is triggering. please skip this chapter if you don't want to read sensitive material!!!//

i define myself with low words and low thoughts

i identify myself as a failure

a person who lost hope and couldn't look at a bright side.

i am a failure

i am fat ugly worthless disgusting nasty terrible undeserving

and no matter what anyone says to me, i always have a sick taste in the back of my throat and dainty wrists that i scratch at due to my anxiety

i was getting better

i was

but i am back at square 0

0 for the number of days that i have been clean

0 for the percentage of me that thinks positively

0 for the amount of strength i have in this very moment

i give up