MPHFPC stuff

My Official Movie Rant

Don't read this until you've watched the movie. Unless you aren't gonna watch the movie then it's ok. Point is, this chapter contains movie spoilers. If you are going to end up watching it, don't read this yet.

Alright guys. I saw the movie...

What the H-E- double hockey sticks was Tim Burton thinking?!?!?!?!

Don't get me wrong though. I still enjoyed it.

Most of this rant is about the characters. I do think that the actors did an amazing job!

P.S. Did u guys see the man who looked just like Tim Burton on the Farris wheel?

And was anybody else hoping for an Empire State Building diaper tower?

Okay. Let's start.

Jake- WHY IS HIS NAME JAKE?! It's Jacob!! Is it that hard to even get the main character's name right??????? I mean, it's just one more syllable.

("Guys, saying Jacob is too hard. Let's change it to Jake so that it will be easier for the actors")

Thank goodness they at least got Portman right!

I did like the part where they commented on his fake American accent though. Who else heard Asa's (Jake) accent slip? I did! (In the scene where he's like "What baby squirrel?" He messed up on the word "squirrel".)

Asa did get Jacob's cluelessness in there so that's good. 👍

He joined the army????????? To get back to them??? I got kinda confused how he got there. I was sitting in the theater like "is he telling his grandfather's story or... Ohhhh... He's telling Emma how he got there again. Ok. Now, how did he get there again?"

I loved the part where he and his dad are on the boat and they see Miss P. (Not direct quote) "Hi Miss Peregrine! My name is Jake Portman. I'm Abe Portman's grandson! Please don't crap on us!" I was dying right there!!!!! 😹

Emma- WHY DOES SHE FLOAT????? SHES SUPPOSED TO BE ALL POWERFUL AND HAVE FIRE AND BE INTIMIDATING, BUT SHES NOT!! SHE FLOATS!!! WHAT THE HECK????

And what about when she threatens Jacob when she first meets him? She is all suspicious about who he is. But in the movie she's all like "Miss Peregrine wanted us to get u. U really look like ur grandpa. (Not direct quotes)" and she just accepts him. I thought that the part where she slowly opens up to Jacob made the book interesting.

But I applaud Ella (Emma) on being able to change attitude so quickly. That is what Emma would do. 👏👏👏

Enoch- OMG!!! 😱😱😱😱😱SKGISGEOFLALSBXVKAODH. No, I'm not fangirling cause of Finlay's (Enoch) looks. I'm fangirling cause he had the character right until the end. ENOCH WOULD NEVER KISS OLIVE!!!! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED???? Finlay had Enoch's attitude down. So I thought he was gonna be good, but then he suddenly cares about Olive and becomes her true loves kiss and stuff. The heck??? Is this Frozen again? Love thaws? ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Where's the cockney accent?

Why doesn't he have circles under his eyes? He's supposed to look like a raccoon. Where are his clay men? He's supposed to actually MAKE his men. Not use broken toys and stuffs!!!!!!!!

I did, however, like when they were watching Horace's dreams and Enoch just throws his head back on the couch and is like "ughhhhhhhh..." That is true Enoch! 👌👌👌👍👍👍 Good job, Finlay!