Dark Angel

Chapter 18

A few days later I'm sitting on my bed reading a book and nicely recovered. The cut still has to be bandaged to keep it from breaking open and killing me, but I'm doing pretty well. Hunter hasn't talked to me in school, and my mom scheduled a court hearing for Hunter abusing me. I don't see the point in it, but whatever. If it makes my mom happy, who cares?

I jump when I see Jase sitting on the roof outside my window. It's pouring buckets and I can tell he's soaked. What is he doing here?

Water practically pours into my room off my window when I open it. My carpet is now a little damp, but I'm too focused on climbing outside to care. He stands up and helps me to my feet. I'm scared standing on my wet roof, but I know Jase won't let me slip.

The tears start to fall from my eyes. At school when people heard I was in the hospital, they all accused me even more harshly of being the emo cutter bitch. There were more nasty messages on my locker and more rumors spread. I can't stand it. I've cut at least twenty more times since I got out of the hospital. Jase sees this and takes me into his arms. Dear god, this feels so good. It's like every other hug he's given me. At this point we're both drenched in the pouring rain.

"I'm stupid. I'm stupid and everybody hates me and I'm ugly. I'm that weird ugly emo girl that everyone hates. They were right. No man will ever love me. I thought they were wrong when Hunter and I started going out, but he never loved me. He hit me and did everything to control me. They were all right. Stupid. Ugly. Weird. Unlovable."

"STOP THAT. RIGHT NOW." Jase pushes a piece of his soaked hair out of his eyes.

"What? Telling the truth?"

"Devin, you're not stupid. You're one of the smartest people I know. And you're not ugly. I think you look more beautiful now than ever, which means something because you've been the most beautiful girl I've ever seen for years."

"Jase, no I'm not."

"Do something you never do around me and shut up for a minute, okay?" Jase smiles. I nod my head and shut my mouth.

"It's what I think and whether or not it's right, it's all I've ever known, so you'll never be able to tell me it's not. You're smart, beautiful, maybe a little weird, but hell, so am I. You'd be no fun if you weren't. You're never allowed to tell me to grow a pair ever again because this is the ballsiest thing I've ever done. As for no man ever loving you..." He wraps his arms around my waist, but this time in the way I've seen him do with Allie. Not with me. "Does that mean I've been a girl for all these years?"

He leans over and kisses me. An explosion of ecstasy rocks my core in a way I never imagined possible. Especially not with Jase. His lips fall away and I'm left wondering why he's stopped kissing me. My mind is going fucking insane for more! Please just let him do this again!!

"How long?" I ask knowing he'll know exactly what I mean. You pick up connections like that when you've been friends for eleven years.

"A long, long time." He smiles and it makes me smile and that makes him smile again which makes me smile.

"But you were with Allie for like, over a year."

"I know. I couldn't sit pining over you when I knew I never had a chance."

I want to object, but he's right. I never used to see him as more than a friend. But now... now I want to kiss him until we pass out from lack of oxygen and fall off the roof or my mom notices us standing in the pouring rain making out on the roof and bitches at us to stop.

"So, how long is a long, long time?"

Jase hesitates.

"Since, like, sixth grade at the latest."