Dark Angel

Chapter 22

Dear everyone,

It’s too late. It’s been too late for awhile. Ever since Hunter Occidere came into my life. Isn’t that even what his last name means? Slaughter? A rather morbid and violent last name I thought for awhile, but now I find it to be pretty fitting. For four months, since December 25, 2010, Hunter Daniel Occidere abused me. He punched me, kicked me, drugged me then banged me, pushed me off the top of my platform, spread rumors and lies about me, and cut me deeply enough to put me in the hospital when I broke up with him. I have pictures on my iPod of the damage. I’m sure you can use that in the court case against him.

Well, I’ve been pushed over the edge. Everything has just become too much for me. Being abused. Being the hated emo cutter bitch in school. Having everyone make fun of me and call me names. Being pinned as the stoner slut… the pothead prostitute. All because of Hunter Daniel Occidere. He ruined my fucking life. The only person that was keeping me alive over the past four months was my best friend, Jase Robert Liecenie. I could tell him my secrets and he always made me feel good about everything no matter how bad the situation was. I know he would’ve murdered Hunter if I had let him.

Now that Jase is gone, I’ve snapped. I can’t handle it anymore. Life is a cruel, sick bitch that just loves to torment me for her own pleasure. First she tells me I have a bright future doing something I love with people that I’ll be happy with. Then, she finally decides I’m ready for a boyfriend and the first one she gives me is one who doesn’t give a fuck about me. He just wants that power over me. Once she finally lets me have the lady balls to break up with him and I can date my best friend… oh. She’s good. She let things be perfect for all of three days before she KILLS my best friend. My boyfriend. The guy that I’ve been so close to for so long and even fell in love with. Guess I don’t deserve to be happy? Well, life, I’m done with your sick little games. I’m playing by my own rules now, and my rules don’t involve you. When someone is bothering you, what do you do? You avoid them. You stop your contact with them. Well, that’s what I’m doing. I’m cutting off my contact with that sick bitch life. I’m going on my own path and I don’t need her there messing things up for me.

So, I just have some messages to pass along, and I hope that they all get passed along. If not I’ll be a very unhappy camper, whether life is aiding me to see you not pass it along or not. I don’t need to be partnered up with that bitch to know what’s going on. I need to be partnered up with Jase. I’ll have to wait and see if that happens. Anyways. My messages.

To mom and dad. I love you guys so much. I wish I could say something more to you than that. It’s not like I can say “fuck you you were never around that’s why I’m so fucked up”. You were great parents. And I know how much this is going to devastate you. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I’m going to do to you. Even when I’m going solo without life holding on to me, I’ll still feel guilty about this every day. But really. I love you so much.

To Allie and Lyss. You guys were amazing friends. I’m so sorry that you have to lose two of your best friends within two days. I’m sure I seem like a crazy lovesick girl killing herself because her boyfriend died. The thing is, it’s so much more than that. It’s too much going on inside my mind for anyone else to understand. Except maybe Jase. But he’s gone so it doesn’t matter. You guys. You made my life special. Allie with your passes and Lyss with your music and randomness and weirdness. You guys always made me laugh and it makes me really, really glad to know that while I was still around I at least had amazing friends like you.

To Hallie Ryser. You little bitch. I fucking hate you.

To Hunter Occidere. Hey, asshole, you better run. If I come back as a ghost I’m haunting your ass until the day you die. Not to mention that lawsuit that my parents have you in. And now that you’ve murdered their daughter. Man, sucks to be you, asshole!

To Jase Liecenie. I love you. You were the best friend a girl could ever wish for, and having you taken from this world ripped my heart out. If I see you when I’m going solo, I’ll definitely be sure to change my journey to a duet. I’m not letting you go if I ever see you again. I don’t think I’d be able to bear it. It was hard enough departing from you once. Rest in peace, babe, at least until I find you. Then we’re going to paint the universe red. It’s going to be amazing. I promise. I love you, babe. I’ll miss you forever until I find you again.

That’s all I have to say. Feel free to do whatever you want with my stuff. I just want to keep Jase’s skull and crossbones sweatshirt. I want it with me. Forever. I want that little piece of him to stay with me until I find him again. Please don’t take it away from me. I’m begging you. I’ve already had too much ripped away from me.

Love to all of you, always. (Except Hallie and Hunter. Seriously. I fucking hate you people.)

Devin