No Good ≫ t.c

Chapter 57

Previously on 'No Good'

"You're 4 weeks pregnant."
-
"You have cancer." He says lowly.
-
My eyes are slowing closing until I hear the door open.

Irritated I say, "Can't I just sle-"

"What a surprise."
...

Rebeca's Pov

My heart stops. How did he get in here? Why didn't anyone stop him?

"Are you just going to stare at me this whole time?" My father says walking up to me with the slightest smile curving on his lips that are waiting to spit out venomous words at me.

"Well this brings back memories doesn't it?" I follow his every move watching his torn up shoes press on the titles of my room and watch his tall strong fingers brush past the wall.

"W-Why are you here?" I struggle to swallow yet another lump in my throat.

"Someone person called me." He says bluntly, staring at the wall behind me. He is being too calm. What's with hospital and him?

"A-Aren't you suppose to be in uh- jail?" I stumble with words. I hate that I'm so weak when he's around.

"The same person bailed me out." He shrugs, not meeting my eyes.

"Do you k-know who?" I ask quietly.

"Actually no. I'm still trying to figure out who it was. But enough about me, what happened?" His not so cold eyes meet my confused ones.

"Why do you c-care?" I look down at my stomach.

"Look, Rebeca, I got thinking while being in the very cold jail cell that what I did to you and your brother was wrong and-" Words struggles to get through his chapped full lips.

"You can keep your fake apology." I stare into his eyes strongly. My blood boiling, he doesn't mean anything.

"It's not. I'm a sad excuse of a man, yes I know. But when your mother left me my heart was torn out of my chest. I couldn't find any sort of happiness, she was the love of my life and she just got up and left. So when I saw you and brother, the sadness and the hate of being alone crawled up on me because you reminded me of the good old days when she was happy with me and I was happy with her. When she left I hated her for leaving and I hated myself because I wasn't good enough. I took the anger out of me when I laid my hands on you and your brother but especially you, you just look so much like your mother and it stabs my heart. The wounds seem so fresh when I looked you and you looking like your mother just poured salt on them. I am so sorry. I hate myself more because instead of just picking up the pieces and finding my way out of darkness. I dug myself deeper for laying my damn hands on you! IM SO SORRY! I HATE MYSELF! IM SORRY! I DEEP DOWN DOWN CARE AND LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY MESSED UP HEART! I SHOULD'VE STOPPED MYSELF! I SHOULD'VE SEEN MY LITTLE GIRL IN PAIN BECAUSE OF ME!" He pours out his heart, tears are swimming in his big brown eyes that don't even have a hint of hate just pure guilt.

My heart is pounding. I felt actually sorry for him, he was just hurt. I understand, I finally understand. But forgiveness isn't something that I feel in me towards him. I close my eyes and the sound of his hard breathing is floating in the air.

"I know- I" I hear him choke up words hear the softest and quiet sobs.

"I know you'll never forgive me, I wouldn't forgive anyone like me but i-t was eating me up alive this whole time but I finally found enough light in me to t-tell you. I am truly sorry Rebeca, and I do care about you and your brother a lot but I- I am so sorry for everything." His deep voice never sounded so fragile, the cracks in his voice added new cracks to my heart. I see my tears fall on my hands.

"I- I can't forgive you, my wounds are too fresh as well right now." I said feeling my heart aching as if all the slaps, punches, yanks, words are going straight to my heart.

Maybe I finally understand why he was like that but he will never understand how much pain he caused me. All the hurt that I am still carrying around every day. He will never understand that I am a mess that no one wants to fix. That I am scared of putting myself out there, because of him. He caused this, he caused all the scars, all the pain. He will never understand how his actions affected me. Yes, I do care about him, I've always had. Even though he did all of this, my heart was dumb and cared. He was just too blind to see.

"I get it, but what I am trying to say is.. Can we try to forgive? We can go as slow as you like, I just really want to show you that I am truly sorry." The thickness of his now guilty voice sinks straight into my heart. My mind and my heart are having World War 3, I am very conflicted, I don't know who to listen to. My heart or mind. All of the sudden I look down at my stomach and my heart and mind just simply click together.

"Baby steps." I mumble looking at him, the smile on his face warms my heart. He got a face for a smile you know, it's been forever since I've seen a true smile   for him.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asks concerned, I never knew his voice can turn so soft and caring. But my heart really drops. I can't tell him I have cancer, we are finally trying to get better. If I tell him I have cancer something will happen with him. I decide against telling him something so heavy right now, this is all new. Let me not ruin it.

"I'm um I- am pregnant." His smile drops, okay maybe this wasn't a good thing to tell him either. Why didn't I just say I was sick? Oh damnit Rebeca.

"You are- you are pregnant?" He whispers not believing. I'm breathing rapidly, he is probably going to get mad. Then he is going to take it out on me.

"Plea-se don't be mad." I whisper, fiddling with my fingers.

"Mad? Oh Rebeca. I'm not mad, no I'm just trying to take it in. But you are pregnant oh my gosh. You are pregnant!" He says clapping his hands, his eyes are filled with excitement. I let out a big old sigh and send him a smile.

"Can I hug you?" He asks shifting his weight on each foot. I open my arms and he races to me, oh my. Why do I feel so loved? His big strong arms wrap around me, these rare moments make me feel so safe. I feel as if nothing will hurt me when he is here.

"Dad?" I whisper for no reason.

"Hija." (daughter) He whispers back.

"Thank you for this moment." I whisper ever so softly.

"Thank you for making me feel loved." He whispers again, hugging me tighter.

-

He watches from the window as her and her father share a moment that they will keep forever as they grow stronger and stronger. He tugs his hairs as he watches them hug. This wasn't part of his plan, he wanted him to hurt her real bad so she can finally be all alone. But no daddy wanted his little girl back. One way or another he thought, he will take her.

////

Okay so I decided to keep writing. I
realized that I don't want to stop writing this book till the end so I will.

Thank for you all the love and support! Hope you enjoy :)

~skittlesmeniddles