Why Wayne. Why. Wayne and I used to talk and I had fallen head over heels for him. He admitted to me that he was only sexually attracted to me, and that he didn't want to hurt me because I was a good person. I respect him. He actually told me. I wouldn't have expected that from him.
I hadn't spoken to him in almost a month, and today he said hey to me. I was alarmed, but happy. Sure we haven't spoken in a while, but I'm glad he hasn't tried excluding me from his life completely.
I wouldn't be surprised if he texts me later on tonight. He's like that. He'll say something at school, then a few hours later you'll receive a text from him...at least I know he thinks about me.
I would much rather date Jared though. Wayne has a reputation of sleeping with...basically anything that moves. And I know he would attempt to get me to be on his long list of girls he does it with, then never talks to again, and besides, I don't even want to lose my virginity. Abstinence all the wayyyy haha.
Anyway, Wayne just isn't a very good influence. He would be bad for me, but I have to admit, he is pretty attractive. But nevertheless, I still want Jared...a lot more.
I'm a little upset at Jared. I was basically next to him in gym today, and he refused to give me the ball whenever Lucy had thrown it in his direction. He would hit it over back at her, or give it to Lara. Lara and Lucy were farther away from him than I was! Whatever, maybe he just didn't see me flailing my arms like a mad man to symbolize that the ball was mine.
I think I just might text Jared tonight. Maybe when Wayne texts me I'll text Jared. Not because I want to speak to them at the same time, but because I want to make sure I waited the right amount of time from after school until then. I don't want to seem desperate, but in reality, I'm kind of desperate for Jared. It's like my heart tells me constantly that I need him. Without him, I'll remain unhappy. I hate this. Desperation and depression aren't a good mix.
