Be My Mrs. Choi

4.1: Pull Me Up

It has been weeks. It's almost a month already actually. She's still nowhere to be found. I still suspect Wonwoo, but I can't find any evidence. I've been in hiatus since the day she went missing. Our company told me it would be better if I take a rest first after what happened in the press conference. They say what I said kind of hurt some of the Carats' feelings. It's actually beneficial to me. I get more time to search for her however I don't know where to start. No one knows where to start searching, not even Nara.

"Hyung, you should eat. You know she wouldn't be so happy to know you've been skipping meals." Youngsoo said as he prepared the table.

He always comes here now. He accompanies me despite their busy schedule. He's an idol now. I want to be happy for him because finally he's being an idol not because of his ex-girlfriend but because he appreciates the love their fans give them. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking of Y/N. She's my wife, the love of my life, the girl who made me a better person I thought I can't be. And, she's missing.

"Hyung, I told you we'll find her soon. I know she's okay. I can feel it."
"I will never feel relieved until I see her again."
"Hyung, please don't make this hard for me. I miss her too! Don't forget that I liked her first! I was earlier than you! I've been admiring for a longer time than you do. At least eat! Starving yourself won't help us find her."

He's right. Am I being a sober now? But, I miss her. I don't know. I want to know where she is, if she's okay, if she gets to eat. I want to know not just because I care. I love her. She's the reason why I love Carats more now.

"Hyung?" I heard Jun knocking at the door.
"Sunbae-nim, hyung doesn't want to eat! Help me feed this crybaby!" Youngsoo told him.
"Aish. I will tell this to Jeonghan!" Jun said.
"Do whatever you want." I said letting my back fall on the bed.
"Hyung, you need to stay healthy! What if she comes back later and sees you like this?! I'm sure she'll leave again!" Jun told me.

I know he's just trying to make me eat. I miss her, but I don't want to be a burden to them. I stood up and went to the kitchen. I ate quietly hoping she gets to eat too. Jun and Youngsoo accompanied me in the kitchen.

"Finally, you ate! Forcing you to eat is like forcing oil to mix with water!" Youngsoo said sitting on the couch.
"Yah, Youngsoo-ah. Don't you have any schedule? You should be promoting! You're a rookie. You need to keep promoting." It's good they're talking.
"I know, but we have no schedule now. We'll start again tomorrow. Our company told us to rest for a while."
"Jinjja?! You're lucky!!!"
"That's only because we're idols now and we put money into the company. We almost died as trainees!"

I remember the days we're just trainees. I wanted to give up, but I know we have fans already. They trust us. We can't let them down. I need to get back. I can't stay hidden here crying. I need to go out there and show our fans my gratitude for their love and support because I love them too. Maybe it'll also help me find her.