Drowning Lessons: An Anthology of Poetry

The Splitting of Pangaea

Fragments of blood vessels & ventricles
Floating absentmindedly
Behind my rib cage
Long ago
They were once conjoined
Like Pangaea
Forming one, giant land mass of a heart
If only it took millions of years to split my heart

It was broken in less than a decade
Pieces slowly breaking off
One by one
Into smaller continents
My rib cage is adorned like a Christmas tree
The chipped pieces of my heart dangling
From rib to rib

I knew it would never get better
But I never thought it would get
So
Much
Worse
I had one fragment left
But now even it's gone

Someone call the doctor
Someone call the morgue
Doctor, there's a hole where my heart used to be
Coroner, can you really die from a broken heart?

I'm floating between two worlds
Of living & existing
And I can never decide which side of the grass
I want to stay on
So I guess I'm doomed
to forever bounce back & forth
& to become the living dead

If only I would have learned from the first time
Or the third
Or the twenty-seventh
That no one is here to stay
Not even my reflection
But I suppose that's alright
I could never stare back into the mirror anyway

Perhaps I'm destined
To be alone & forever broken
Perhaps I'm doomed
To never be loved
But I suppose that's alright
I just have to push others away harder
And keep the numbness lasting longer

I'm doomed to forever be
Nothing more than a had-been, could-have-been, should-have-been
Miserable excuse for a human being
I'm too damaged to function
And too numb to schedule an appointment
For much-needed repairs
So I'll just lay here in the dark
Raindrops cascading down dead cheeks
And put the heartbreak on replay
So I can feel
That
Last
Crack
That split Pangaea

Doctor, there's a hole where my heart used to be
Coroner, you won't need an autopsy
Does anything matter?
When you're already dead?
I will never let another living soul
Close

I think I'll die alone

But I suppose that's alright.