Drowning Lessons: An Anthology of Poetry

Let's Talk About the Weather

When you don't take care of something
It falls apart
It's my own fault
That I'm stuck with this broken organ
Because I didn't take care of it
I carelessly tossed it into the hands of others
Who did nothing but rip it apart

Are you there at all?
Do you care at all?
I've read about the afterlife
But I've never really lived
I'm constantly floating
Between the Purgatory of life & death
I've never lived
And I'm only dead on the inside

The clouds are full & angry tonight
Ready to burst at the slightest movement
Maybe I can cry myself to death
Exhale the misery
Inhale the salvation
I just want things to go back to the way they used to be
Or to end it all
I never liked change
Except when it came to the weather

It was nice to feel the sunshine against my skin
Even if it didn't last long
But I always loved the rain
And I'll always go back to it
Until people stop leaving & changing
Like the weather
Why aren't people punctual
Like the sun?
Why do we leave one another
Like the clouds?
We bottle everything up
Until a bolt of lightning comes by
And we burst from the pressure
And once our rain storm ends, we slowly depart from the sky
Only to start the cycle again

Maybe that's all I'm ever meant to be
The pedestrian without an umbrella
Just as a harsh storm kicks in
People are like rain storms
But God, do I love the rain
I dug my own grave
Each time the storm would come
And I tried to find the sun behind the clouds

The clouds are full & angry tonight
The sun won't come back for a long
Long
Time
If it ever even comes back
But God, do I love the rain

I wonder if you think of me
On the other side of the sky
I wonder if the sun is busy warming you
And doesn't have time for me
I hope that's the case
Because all I ever wanted
Was to keep the sun out for you
I dug my own grave
The sun can't reach me anymore

The forecast calls for
Gloomy days & cold nights
Spent alone & in pain
But at least it's raining outside
And the clouds are crying with me
I wonder if clouds feel the same pain I do
That constricts my chest
And makes it impossible to breathe
Maybe that's what makes them burst
Or maybe I'm just a goddamn mess

I hope the rain will flood my grave
So I don't have to feel anymore
Rain me down
Make me numb
I'm tired of pain
And temporary happiness
It just gets worse the longer I keep lying to myself

Just for the record
The weather today
Is slightly melancholic
With a good chance of
Indifference or excess hurt
I'll be lucky if I ever get to experience the indifference
Just like a weatherman who actually predicted accurately

Bury my grave
No one would miss me anyway