How I met your mother - Malfoy style :)

Year 3

Scorpius and Rose sigh as their father continues with his never-ending story.

"Kids, third grade was kinda cool. I had my first girlfriend back then. It wasn't your mother as you might guess. But we'll come to that later."

*Flashback* (Draco's POV)

Worst summer holidays ever. I mean ok I'm already used to the fact that I can't have much fun at the Manor. And what's the reason for that? Sure, my stupid control-freak of a father. All he asks is "Where're you going?" "Who's with you?" "When will you be back home?" etc.

I can't stand it. I mean what is he thinking? He can't control every step I'm taking. Though he does and if I don't obey him he slaps me. Every day. My mother is outraged but she can't help me. She's too weak to stop my father from doing this to me. Though she would want to. Sure, now I look really cool and dangerous with all those bruises and even cuts. But well, it doesn't really matter. I'll be happy if I'm back to that freakish school. As much as I hate Hogwarts for teaching me so much useless stuff so much I love it for being a safe place for me. Although I would never admit that in front of any Slytherin.

*End of Flashback*

"Yes, kids. That's a true and dark chapter in my life."

*Flashback* (Draco's POV)

Man, those frickin dementors scared the shit out of me. I mean Hello? What's up with them coming and controlling the Hogwarts train? I swear if this is my father's fault I will so kill him. Nevertheless at least I didn't faint. Lol. Now as we are sitting in the Great Hall I turn around and ridicule Potter "You fainted, Potter? You actually fainted?" What a great laugh!

Fortune telling is so useless and freakish. And now we have Care of Magical Creatures. WTF? That gormless half-giant-thingy Hagrid teaches us this year. That's the reason why this year's books are all furry and snappish. "Open your books on page 20 ..." he begins and I look at my book confusedly. "And how the hell should I open it?" I respond biting. "Well, fondle its back" that fathead answers. I do so as I hear how Granger states "I like those books." Sure that she likes them. "This school reached a new low level. If my father finds out that this daffy fathead is teaching us he will freak out." She glares at me evilly. "DEMENTOR, DEMENTOR!" I shout and point at the place behind Potter and his friends. They all freak out and turn around. Now me, Goyle and Blaise put our hoods on and as they turn back to us we howl "Boohoo." So much fun. But then our 'teacher' comes back with some freaky creature. Everyone is staring at it and then Professor Fathead asks us "Who is coming forward to pet him?" The whole bunch of people steps back except for Potter. "Great, Harry. C'mon." Haha, first Potter has to take a bow and then he can pet that thingy. I do so hope he's getting hurt. Hell no! He is actually able to ride on that hippogriff. I'm eating my apple angrily while I have to watch how Pothead again thinks he's the number-one-hero. As he comes back I run to that creature and utter "Well, you're not dangerous at all, you filthy monster." Fuuuck, that thing hurt me so bad on my arm. I hate this frickin hippogriff. Geez, that hurts. I think I'm dying. "Hagrid, you have to take him to the nurse" Granger declares. Wow, she actually wants me to get help. How nice of that mudblood!

I would've liked to stay at the nurse's station. I got visits from my friends every day. But now I'm back. As we are in the Great Hall Pansy is looking after me. "Does it hurt a lot, Draco?" she wants to know and I reply "Well, not as much as it did before. But Madam Pomfrey said it was close to losing my arm. I guess I can't do my homework for a while." I wrote a letter to my father. Whoa, he's pretty angry. Maybe Professor Fathead is getting fired.

Defense Against The Dark Arts. We are learning 'bout boggarts and how to defeat them. 'Ridikkulus' is the spell and we all have to repeat it together. "Wow, that's like kindergarten" I state and Granger looks at me angrily.

Oh, it's Hogsmeade-time. Nice. Guess who's having a date today? Yep, the awesomeness has a name – Draco Malfoy. I'm meeting Pansy outside the castle and we go there together. "Draco, I like your hair" she admits. And well, who doesn't like my hair? "Blondes have more fun. That's a fact." As this date is lasting longer we're getting closer. When we leave Hogsmeade I hold her hand and we walk back together while she stares at me sweetly all the time.

Supply lesson with Snape. Where the hell is Lupin? Oh, well, that's interesting. It's full moon, Lupin's not here and we learn about werewolves. Of course, Granger has to put in her twopenn'orth. She's such a nerd, so I have to make fun of her. "AAh...wooooh" I howl like a wolf. Then I send Pothead a flying message which tells him that he will be struck by lightning tomorrow when he's playing Quidditch. And guess what? That actually happens the next day.

Another day I spent at Hogsmeade with Pansy. Well, and then we made out for the very first time behind the Three Broomsticks. Then I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend and of course she said yes. I'm spoken for her now. Nevertheless I left her there at the Three Broomsticks with some friends of her because I wanted to look for Granger for whatever reason. As Blaise, Goyle and I find her she is with Weasley. "Hey, Weasel-be. Are ya lookin for a house, you two? Might be a little too big for you. Doesn't your family live in one room together?" "Shut up, Malfoy" Granger responds and I take out my wand offended. "How dare you to say that, filthy little mudblood?" Fuck, I land on my ass and something invisible pulls me down a hill. What the fuck is going on here? After some strange happenings I and my dudes flee.

Wow, my father won the lawsuit. Now that hippogriff has to DIE. Muhaha. The day when that has to happen I'm at the big stone circle with Blaise and Goyle because I wanna take pictures. Oh Uh, troubles – Pothead, Weasel-be and Granger are approaching us. "YOU! You wretched, nasty, little cockroach!" she yells at me while pointing her wand at throat. I whine and she puts her wand down. I follow her wand with my eyes. Then she turns around and I think I'm safe. Ouch. Fuck it, Granger, you dealt an effectual blow to me. Hell that hurts. But it turns me on somehow.

Yeah, then me and my dudes run away. "Never tell anyone of that one, ok?" I threaten them.

*End of Flashback*

"Kids, that was kinda my third grade. You're mother still didn't play such a big role in my life. Although she was always there."

"Was this the year when Uncle Harry found his godfather Sirius Black?" Rose asks.

"Yeah, you know the rest of this story. The rest is history" Draco explains to them and the kids lean back comfortably.