Far far away

Chapter 16

Camila's POV

I locked my phone and held it close to my chest. I felt my heart beating really fast against my ribs. "What have you done?" I asked myself.

I threw her heart away when she offered it in a golden platter.

I felt the silence around me deafening and enclosing me like a cage.  This is better....I don't want to drag her into my complicated life. She deserves someone better than a broken Camila.

This would never work anyway and after what happened with Austin I just want to lock my heart away.

I walked towards the mirror which hung on my wall and stared at my reflection.

"You don't deserve it." my reflection smirked at me. "She loves me." I replied pacing around the room.

But is it love at all? What if it was just something we want to move on from our exes?

I don't want this to be a little summer fling. She's my Lolo and I have to protect her from drowning in my demons.

But god there was something so mesmerizing about her. We haven't even met but I felt drawn to her even though we live miles apart. I feel her laugh echoing in my room, I feel her warmth spreading through my body, I feel her kisses fluttering on my lips.

Even when she's so far, far away Lauren Jauregui had an effect on me and that scares me.

"I guess Kristen was right after all." I took out a packet of cigarettes taking out a long drag. This had turned out to be addiction of mine. I can't help it but reach for a cigarette when I want the stress to leave my body.

I took out my phone to dial Dinah's number.

"Sup Chanch?" I heard a loud voice echoing on the other side of the phone.

"Cheechee.....I said no to Lauren" I couldn't formulate any more words apart from this. I felt the impact of what I had done after these words left my mouth.

I heard a sigh on the other end and she continued again. "What was the reason?" she asked.

"I didn't know if I was doing the right thing! After Austin I don't want another heartbreak." I bit my lips and felt myself tearing up because of the memory.

"Mila....honey.... I know for sure Lauren is nothing like Austin! She will treat you better. You must give her a chance, to heal yourself."

"But she's my childhood friend what if this never works out? It could ruin something we already lost." I felt my palms sweat thinking about the mere memory of my parents finding out.

"How can you just say it won't work out? It could ruin your friendship but create something so beautiful. It's a risk everyone takes when they fall in love, face it honey it's love." I heard her laugh on the other side.

"But we never get see eac-" 

"Mila let me tell you about my boyfriend Siope. He lives all the way in Hawaii and I only visit Hawaii for a day in a year! We get to see each other for a day Mila. But we have been going strong for 3 years. We make the best of that day and when we meet it's like we never lived apart." Dinah said passionately.

"You really love him, don't you?" I commented.

"Yes Mila I really really love him." Dinah said "Look, just call her again and tell her. Just tell her the truth. She'll understand, okay?" Dinah asked "Okay." I said and hung up.

"This is a mess" I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair trying to think of a decision.

"Uhum." I heard someone clear her his throat. "Camila, who was that?" he asked. Shit how long has he been standing there. "Oh, just Dinah. School stuff." I tried.

"Okay, I just wanted to see whether you are doing your homework." he said and walked away.

That was close!! Phew! Dad is just a pain in the ass sometimes.... actually all the time!!

"We are leaving tomorrow night pack your stuff." he walked in again giving me another heart attack.

I nodded and he left, I immediately ran to the door to lock it and panted hard.

I leaned back against the door slowly falling down. I felt my eyes tear up, this would never work! Lauren is so special! What we have is so special.... I can't ruin this.

I can't ruin this. I like her but I have to let her go.

She deserves someone more than a broken Camila.

I took out my phone to view her contact

"I love you but I have to do this." I felt my fingers suddenly freeze before tapping on send. I have to do it. I sent the message and clicked on the block option of the contact.

*Are you sure you want to block this contact?* A screen appeared.

"Yes....." I said to myself slowly closing my eyes and confirmed it.

"This is not for me it's for my Lolo"

Lauren"s POV

I was pacing around in my room looking at my phone to see if I had received a message from Camz. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door.

"Dinner is ready." I heard my mom's voice.

"Coming!" I replied quickly and started to bite my lip nervously.

"Lauren? What are you doing?" Mom walked into my room with a confused expression.

"Nothing, nothing" I quickly hid my phone from her vision. "Let's go have dinner." I moved towards the door but mom suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Lauren Michelle you need to relax and tell me what is going on!" She gripped my wrist tightly showing me a threatening expression.

"It's nothing!!" I pulled my hand out of her grasp and that's when I heard the notification. I quickly rushed towards the washroom to read the message.

Camz: I love you but I have to do this.

I was confused for a moment but after realising what she had done made me feel paralysed.

*This person has blocked you* a line of text showed over her contact name. "CAMZ" I gasped dropping my gaze to the floor.

I saw my tears form little droplets on the floor and there was a knock on the other side of the door.

"Lauren? Are you okay?" I heard my mom call for me. I opened the door and faced my mom with tears running down my cheeks.

"Mom" I sobbed and her gaze softened.

"Come here...." She hugged me tight stroking my hair gently. "Tell me everything." she whispered wiping my tears.