Don't Shoot the Messenger! (Adventures of a Critic)

Gracious Authors are the Bravest

This is sort of addressing a recent situation. 

When you do something stupid, you should address it. 

I compared someone's character to the worst character in modern literature: Bella Swan. Not only did I compare them, I made it seem like I thought their character was LIKE Bella Swan. 

That wasn't what I meant to do. What I had MEANT to do was say was I like their character and the relationship, but please make sure that she does NOT end up like Bella Swan.  

That was idiotic. That was probably the worst mistake I've ever made-I don't usually make mistakes like that. All I could think was "oh crap, oh... shit. That was a big whoops."

Usually I come off too calculated, have too much on grammar, or I forget to support them as I'm putting in a bunch of critiques on there. 

So, saying that I did that-that was a big no, especially when it wasn't what I meant to say. That was bad and I'm sorry to that person. 

To the point of support though, I have a lot to say on that!

It's important to say what you thought was written well. That's incredibly important, because after bubbles and bubbles of errors and what you didn't like, if you don't support the author, it just comes off as a downer and more downer and more downer. It's really cruel not to support the author, not to tell them something right, because then they don't know. 

This is why gracious authors are the nicer ones. 

When I made this error, she got very upset at me. Rightfully so. She said something that I'll be honest I got really upset about-but here's a tip: don't go ballistic yourself. The author just got their work critiqued and found out that maybe some things they really liked weren't working, or maybe you accidentally call their character a Bella Swan, and they just yelled at you. 

Are they in the right? I'll be honest to you authors, no you're not. You have no right to insult me or anything that I am. You can be mad about the critique, you can tell me you're angry about it, but I will call you out if I find you being rude to me or anything about me personally. 

First, always do it as patiently as possible. Say what you meant, or say why you said something, and try to discuss with them what about this upset them. AN AUTHOR DESERVES TO BE HEARD. This is a mistake in a lot of new critics, they find that their word is law and the author gets no say. Be aware critics, ALL CRITIQUES SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. Your word is not law, nor is it ever law. If they love it and want to keep it, then you have no right to argue with them otherwise. They heard what you had to say, you might've even discussed it, after you're done you. are. done. 

Then when you get to the hurtful part about yourself, say that you found what they said to be rather upsetting. Say why. Treat it like a critique, but on their words. 

Do not do these things. 

1) Be a jackass and correct their grammar or spelling.

2) Go ballistic and say hurtful things to them.

3) Say that their writing is shitty and you were trying to be nice. 

Say what you meant or why you said what you said in the critique, that comes first. Then say what you read about you in their words and how you found that insulting/hurtful/etc. then say what you felt about that and tell them that they don't have a right to do that no matter how upset they are-as peacefully as possible. Be patient and be kind, you're the one who took apart their book-how "badly" you did it, who knows, but you need to try to console them first, whether with an explanation or an apology.