Don't Shoot the Messenger! (Adventures of a Critic)

We're Not Idiots

I'll be honest, I don't donate hours of my time to critique your book selflessly with nothing wanted in return. I ask for probably at least a genuine comment on my story Fragmentation-and often I will actually ask for a legitimate critique. I don't ask for much. If you want one chapter-I only ask for one chapter. If you want two chapters-I STILL ONLY ASK FOR ONE CHAPTER. Three chapters and I ask for two chapters done. I make it pretty simple.

Can authors at least pretend to try? I mean seriously, I'd like to think that they chose my critique thread, not because it was the last on the list, but because they looked at some of the stuff I critiqued and maybe this book and went "hey, she seems like she knows what she's doing." 

And if they believe that-which I'd like to think they do-can they at least give me the credit of not thinking I'm a complete and utter idiot? Because I'm not and the fact that you think you can do that is EXTREMELY degrading.

I know when your comment isn't genuine and I know when you're skimming other people's comments and posting what they said as a critique. I'm not a nimwit, I know what you're doing. 

Seriously? I'm about to donate two hours of my time for you, you can't take three seconds?

There are really obvious tells and less obvious tells. The more obvious tells are when I JUST GOT DONE with talking to them on Private Messages and they go and immediately comment on my story saying things like "the descriptions were great and I loved it, this is so good!"

For starters, you couldn't have read a three page paper that fast. Now, sometimes they may have been reading it while they were messaging-but you can tell when that happens because their comments are detailed and long and whatnot. That doesn't happen often though and I can tell when that is NOT the case.

Also, if I'm asking for constructive criticism, or just a bit of like "hey, what do you think?" I hate the comments of "your descriptions were great and I loved it." That comment is fine if I wasn't expecting a comment from you, but if I was, I find those incredibly empty words. What does that even mean? I sit there and go "thanks, that's really sweet-but could you tell me which description you liked-or at least what you liked about them? What did you love about it?" I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound needy, but, I'd like to know that if you liked it so much what am I doing right?

I mean seriously people, if I am asking for your help or just a genuine "hey is this alright" I'd like to know what I'm doing that's right (or wrong) that you liked (or disliked). It just makes it easier for me to improve. 

Now if that's just a stray comment from a reader, then that's really sweet! Thank you! If not though-that's empty words, I mean please, I'm asking for your help. 

Another tell is when the comment is seriously the same thing as before-usually disregarding the comment before exists. Usually if I agree with someone else, I include them in my comment "hey ____ made an interesting point"... yada yada. But these people post pretty much the same thing in different words and I'm sitting there comparing going-you asked me to critique and you think I'm so stupid I can't figure out what you're doing?

C'mon people. Give it a shot. You came to Critic Land-you found someone to talk to and shove paper in their face and have them read it-at least give them the time of day to show you what they have. 

It's just common courtesy. You don't have to go to the extent I do-but TWO TO THREE SENTENCES OF HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Please? That'd just be lovely.

Otherwise, you might as well shoot the messenger and the papers in their hand, because this feels adding insult to injury. Seriously. Just please give us some of your time. That'd be spectacular.