I feel trapped in my home. I'm suffocating, and it feels like the walls are closing in more and more every day.
I go between moods where I feel hopeful, and moods where I know that my world is crashing down around me. I stress about everything, I say things I don't mean, and I hold so much anger that I can't handle in a good way.
I've hurt people I care about. People who are really trying to help. I'm not okay with that.
I just feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm amazed with everything going on around me I can hold onto even the slightest bit of sanity. I don't know how I do it.
I want the next two years to go by faster. I just want out of high school so I can leave. I never wanted to leave that much. I liked my home. But now it just feels like it's my prison. My room is so small, it really does feel like a cell.
There are so many thing I wish I could say or do, but I can't. It just isn't possible. I'd lose to much if I did so. I have so much anger and hatred in me, that it's beginning to kill me inside. And I'm too busy pushing away the people trying to help me. I'm honestly alone in this matter because I don't want help. Or I do and I just don't know how to accept it.
I just know that I want for things to improve, but I don't know if that will happen any time soon. Give it a few years, and when I find my freedom, I might get better. I don't know. That's if I survive and keep my remaining sanity for that long.
