Do you know that feeling when your life is crashing down? When there isn't a hope in the world? When something was said and it burns you inside to out?
Seeing Hanna half-dead in the stretcher showed me that your life can change at any moment. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and smashed, then thrown away. Nothing can help. Once the heavy metal doors swallow her I run and can't stop running.
I run down streets of busy traffic a sudden burst of energy electrocuting my legs. I slow down and all the emotions catch up on me. I stumble slightly and sob. I feel the tears running down my face, my burning cheeks and the lump in my throat that has returned.
I can't do anything except slide down onto my knees and sit in the gutter shuddering at every memory that sparks in my head. I am different to most girls and have been teased, pulled and poked. I bottle up my feelings and wait for them to go away but even though it feels like they have been wiped away there are still remains that stick behind.
They lurk in the shadows and wait for your lowest moment to do your worst.
I remember in Primary school a girl once said to me "You're nothing but a huge geek. I mean look at your hair, your clothes. Nothing about you is normal. You have no friends. Why don't you look like everyone else? Oh My God you don't even shave your legs. Or dye your hair and your ears aren't pierced. What are you?!"
I was so shocked I just stood there letting her point out my faults. Once the words had sunk in the tears started to pour. Not like waterfalls cascading over rocks, just small, emotional drops speckling the cheeks.
The last three words really hurt me.
What.
Are.
You.
That night I pressed the head of my mother's shaver to my legs and followed through. Since then I haven't let society rule my life. I have become an individual.
Now all of these emotions have overcome me and know I just sit. Helplessly. Alone. Until I see footsteps behind me. And just as I turn around. The world turns pitch black.
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OMG DRAMA!!!
I will write from this POV again. Please tell me whenever you want it.
Thanks
Maisie
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