Helpless: A Hamilton Cast Fanficton

Chapter 29- Karaoke Party

Liv's POV

     We spent the rest of the day singing karaoke. I didn't sing. I just listened. I wasn't in the mood to sing. I felt really depressed. I tried my best to hide it. Everyone was having fun. I just watched and scrolled through the messages on my phone.

     "Alright for our final song we will hear from the one person we haven't heard from tonight," Oak said. He and Renée were being the mcs. "Come on Liv! It's your turn!" I sunk lower in my seat. There was no way I was going to sing. Before I knew it I was picked up and carried to the stage. It was Oak that picked me up.

    "What do you want to sing?" Renée had my phone and had already plugged it in. I just looked down. How could they not tell I didn't want to sing. "Alright. I'll pick. Do you want to sing together?" I slowly nodded. Oak put me down. I heard the intro to Who Will Love Me As I Am? from "Side Show" play. Renée sang first.

     "Like a fish plucked from the ocean. Tossed into a foreign stream, always knew that I was different. Often fled into a dream. I ignored the raging current. Right against the tide I swam, but I floated with the question. Who will love me as I am?" She sang beautifully.

    It was my turn, "Like an odd exotic creature, on display inside a zoo. Hearing children asking questions, makes me ask some questions too. Could we bend the laws of nature? Could a lion love a lamb? Who could see beyond this surface? Who will love me as I am?" I sang with so much emotion. We sang perfect harmony even though this is the first time we have ever sang this song together.

    Once the song finished we heard a roar of applause. I smiled. I didn't smile because I was happy or for myself. I smiled for the others. I didn't want them worrying about me. "That's what I'm talking about!" Oak said as he hugged me. He's so nice to me. I don't know why.

    After that we all packed up our things. The snow finally started melting and it was safe to drive. Lin and I walked to his car and drove home in silence. I just looked out the window. Not wanting to spark any kind of conversation. I could feel Lin's quick worried glances. As soon as we got to the apartment I went straight to my room. Ignoring Vanessa's attempts to talk to me. I slammed my door shut and curled up onto my bed. I fell asleep after a few minutes. I really didn't want to talk to anyone.

Lin's POV

    The car ride home was silent. I didn't bother playing music because I knew she wasn't in the mood. When we got to the apartment she went straight to her room. Didn't say a word to Vanessa. I sat next to Vanessa on the couch and sigh. She's been acting so strange.

    "What happened Lin? Is she okay?" She looked at me worried. I broke down into tears. Neither of us were okay.

    "So many things happened. I went over and Liv and I finally made up. We looked at her cast list together. She got Eliza." I paused there to see Nessa's reaction. She squealed. I continued, "we pranked Anthony but when he chased after her she got a flashback. It was like a trance." I continued crying. Nessa hugged me and I went back to telling her what happened, "After that she fell asleep and had a nightmare. It was worse than any of the ones she's had here with us. She was screaming and she thought it was real." V looked at me concerned. I think for me more than Liv. "After that we decided to wait until the snow lightened up and the streets were safer to drive on. So we ended up having a karaoke party. Everything seemed to be okay." I really didn't want to tell her what Olivia told me and the rest of the cast.

    "Well it seems like everything turned out to be okay," she hugged me tightly. I just cried even more. I knew I had to tell her, but I would have to stop crying to tell her. "Lin is there something you're not telling me?" Shit. I wasn't ready for that.

     "The reason Liv and I called the cast over was to have a cast meeting to announce a bunch of different things. After the whole flashback and nightmare situation happened we each told our news. I told the cast about Liv being casted as Eliza and I told them Liv is doing the Ham4Ham this week." Nessa smiled.

     "That's great! There's nothing to be upset about." Her voice was so calming. Oh she didn't even know the half of it. I've been through too much today. I need a vacation.

     "It's not that. Liv told us that..." I started crying again. "She told us she suffers from anxiety and depression. She told us she's shown signs of anorexia. V i'm scared she's going to hurt herself." Nessa stayed quiet. She was crying now too. We hugged each other and cried. We stayed like that for what felt like hours. We fell asleep on the couch. Arms wrapped around each other. I don't want to loose my family. I just want things to stay happy and perfect. Like it was when Liv first came home. If it only was as easy as wishing.