OC and Mary Sue reviews and critiques...kinda.

OC Review #3: Genevive Earl (RWBY)

Thanks to Syrupstar for submitting this OC!

Fandom:RWBY

Yessss I've been wanting to review something RWBY. (Volume 4 woop woop!)

Name: Genevieve Earl

Genevieve is a light sort of grayish-blue, and Earl is a darker gray. Good on you for following the name rule on both names!

Age: 17

The correct age for a first year! Yes!

Colour: Grey

Color matches name, good- I've come across characters that have mismatched names and colors.

Race: Human 

Occupation: 1st year Atlas academy student, Huntress in training 

Sounds about right, since as far as we know there probably aren't that many faunus in Atlas.

Gender: Female

Appearance: Olivier has a well-built body and is pretty average height, she has brown skin, hazel eyes and straight, Dark black hair that reaches her elbow. Olivier wears a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbow underneath a grey corset. She wears black, high waisted shorts and grey knee high socks, with brown ankle boots. 

Was Olivier her original name?

The design sounds fine (almost a bit steampunk?), it follows the color rule, and her eyes and hair would be a careful direct to her face. Yay, design techniques!

Personality: As the leader of team GLXY {galaxy}, Genevieve sees no room for error. She is always sure to keep the team training and improving their skills, thus making her the strictest of the group. Because of this, Genevieve is able to easily learn from mistakes. Though, due to this, Genevieve finds it especially hard to tell when someone has had enough and accidently continues battles when they're over. She is very overbearing but despite this, cares deeply for others. Genevieve is very strategic and prefers to follow a plan than wing it, which contradicts greatly with her partner Lauren. 

This actually sounds like a really cool character to write/read, especially with the contrast with Lauren. Although, since she learns easily from her mistakes, wouldn't Genevieve learn when someone has had enough somewhat

Weapons: A bow with blades on the end that doubles as a boomerang and a dust dial that shoots dust arrows. 

Oooooooh. Nice. Seeing as Atlas is one of the largest dust exporters in the world, she wouldn't have to worry about supply running low in any shops. (Thank you, Schnee Dust Company!)

Semblance: sixth sense {but only has a few moments to react} 

Seemed sort of overpowered at first, but the few moments would bring it right back down to normal.

Backstory: Genevieve was born and raised in a high-class family. She lived with her mother, father and grandfather. Genevieve looked up to her grandfather greatly as, due to being busy with work, her parents weren't home very often and her grandfather would often care for her. He told her may stories about his time as a hunter and training at Atlas academy. Genevieve admired his courage and vowed to follow down her grandfather's path. So, when she reached the age of 17, Genevieve decided to apply to Atlas academy to try and become even greater than her grandfather was. 

Pretty good motivation, no real tragedy aside from her parents not really being home, and it's overall simple and clean-cut. 

Team: GLXY {Galaxy} 

Galaxy isn't exactly a color, but it does make me think of dark purples and bright reds, blues, and the occasional greens.

Quotes: 'Mistakes will be made, but if we don't learn from them, what's the point of even trying to become huntresses'

Good quote. It shows her determinedness and willingness to keep moving forwards, no matter what.

Overall for this OC:

She sounds great! Seriously, I can't really find any issues, aside from Galaxy not exactly being a color. The weapon sounds a bit overcomplicated, although part of that might just be how it was worded. I hope to see some stories involving her and the rest of her team soon!

((Wow, two reviews within two days? It's like some sort of miracle.))

-M