My Secret Letters to You ➟ 2Jae

the dance

[Longer than earlier parts]

We decided to meet at the dance separately. I arrived at the school hall and waited outside in the cold night air for you. I could hear the loud sound of music being played inside. I knew you might be in there already, but there was something that kept me from going inside, something that made me feel a knot was tied in my stomach. I couldn't place why I felt like that. Instead I decided to take deep breathes and once I was ready I stood outside the front door in my suit. I put my hand on the cold metal doorknob and opened the door before stepping inside. I could feel the warmth inside the hall immediately. I scanned the room for you. It was dimly lit with a number of people dancing in the middle of the hall with their dates and others sitting down at a table sipping soda or water. Balloons hung in the air however I was slightly worried one would pop right above my head. Soon my eyes found you and I could feel my breath hitch in my throat. You wore a black suit that fitted you perfectly. Underneath was a white button-up shirt and tied around your neck was a black tie. Your dark hair was swept to the side. I watched you as you pulled the shirt collar from your neck. I could see you were nervous, but nervous for what? I couldn't tear my eyes from you however I received my punishment for staring at you too long when the girl from before ran up to you and immediately put her arms around your neck. Her dark hair framed her face in curls and her long dark blue dress displayed her perfect figure. I felt a pang of jealousy as I saw you with her again. You smiled when you saw her. However now you looked up and saw me standing at the door, but instead I tried to smile and wave in response. I turned around quickly and disappeared into the night air, walking swiftly around the wall to avoid people, my back resting against the cold brick.

I soon heard the door open and someone step out. 'Youngjae?' I heard your voice call out. I held my breath when I recognised your voice. You called my name out again and walked slowly forward, now in my line of sight. You ran your hand through your hair and turned around to go back into the hall, however  because you were in my line of sight, I was in yours. You caught sight of me and began to run towards me. I began to panic and continue to run away deeper into the school grounds. I could hear you call after me and your footsteps hit the bricks as you followed. My lungs began to hurt and a stitch form on the side of my rib cage as I began to slow down. I don't know why I ran away when I knew you would catch up to me easily. I stopped running and rested my back against the wall attempting to catch my breath. You ran around the corner to stop and see me. You came up to me and held me by the shoulders. 'Youngjae?' You asked me. I avoided you gaze, looking at the ground beneath our feet. I knew you were close to me.

I wanted to slap myself for running away in the first place. What excuse could I use? I knew you would know now. I felt your fingers beneath my chin as you pulled my head up to face you. I looked up to see your face only a few centimetres from mine, I could feel your hot breath against my skin. Tiny beads of sweat had broken against your forehead, the top button of your shirt was undone, your tie loosened and your hair windswept. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding while I was taken aback by how attractive I found you. I tried to move back and cursed to myself when I realised I chose to stand next to a wall.

'Youngjae.' You said my name, your voice raspy. A million scenes played through my head at once, one being of me to take the opportunity to kiss you.

But instead I didn't. I didn't want to risk our friendship for something as stupid as my romantic feelings for you. I could have kissed you, but would you have still been my friend?

'Jaebum.' I muttered, my voice cracking.

'What happened? What's wrong?' You asked me, I shook my head.

'Was she there with someone else?'  Again you asked me about a she.

'No, Jaebum, I lo-' I stopped myself before I accidentally said it.
'I mean, yes.' I corrected my answer.

'I knew there was someone.' You pulled me into a hug and slowly I returned it, enjoying the feeling of hugging and being with you.