My Secret Letters to You ➟ 2Jae

cheat

I hated being woken up late at night, it was something I hated, but seeing you crying, sobbing, hurt, heartbroken is what I hate most. It was an Autumn night, I heard the doorbell ring at eleven eleven at night. We were lucky my parents weren't home that weekend. When I opened the door, rather irritably, I was instantly pulled into a hug. I was confused and shocked, but I looked down at the person and saw a familiar black-head with their head buried into my chest. It was you.

You were crying heavily. This was the first time I'd seen you cry as badly as you were. I quickly pulled you into the house and closed the door before wrapping my arms around you. We stood in the hallway and I felt my shirt get wetter and wetter with your tears as you cried and I stroked your head as I tried to calm you. Seeing you cry was my worst nightmare, I only want you to be happy - no matter what gives you happiness even if it hurts me. Seeing you hurt and upset pained me more.

Once you had calmed down, I spoke. "Common, let's go to my room. Okay?" You nodded and I lead you up the stairs towards my bedroom. I turned on the light, which I forgot to turn on in my haste to the front door and made you sit down on my unmade bed.

"Would you like some water?" I offered you and you nodded in reply, reluctantly letting go of my shirt. I hurried to the kitchen and filled up a glass of water before returning to the bedroom. When I got back, you looked small and frail as you sat on the mattress, clutching the sides of your stomach. You were shaking too. I sat down beside you and wrapped the duvet around your shoulders, before handing you the glass of water. You shakily drank from it, you didn't drink much before you set it down on my bedside table.

"Thank you, Youngjae." Your voice shook as you spoke and I pulled you close into a hug, your head resting on my shoulder. Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy, your face sickly pale, and your body cold.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered and you bit your lip before nodding tentatively. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your cell phone.

"S-She cheated on me." You mumbled, showing me a picture of her kissing another man. I took the phone away from your fragile hand and stared at the picture. There was no doubt it was consensual.

"Maybe she was drunk?" I asked as I stared at the picture. I didn't understand why I was defending her. Maybe it was because she made you happy, but she's also the very reason you're broken down and crying now. You shook your head.

"She knows I saw. She didn't deny it. She didn't apologise. She didn't try to defend herself. I don't know how long it's been happening." You told me. I held the phone tightly in my hand.

"Then why did you take this picture? Jaebum, I'm deleting it." I told you and you tried to reach for your phone, but I held it out of your reach.

"Don't, Youngjae." Your voice broke and I was tempted to give it back to you, but I knew what would happen.

"She knows you know, she doesn't need proof. You won't delete it. I don't want you to beat yourself up for who-knows-how-long. I won't delete it then if you really don't want me to, but please think it through." I explained as you pushed me down on the bed, leaning over me. You froze and turned your attention to me.

"Delete it." You mumbled. In a few taps I deleted the picture and handed your phone back to you, but you didn't get off of me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, turning away. I felt your cold fingers on my cheek as you turned my head to face you.

"Don't be sorry," You whispered and moved closer to me, your face only a few inches from mine, "Would you hate me if I..." You spoke so softly it was hardly audible.

"I would never hate you." I said as we stared into each other's eyes. You began to softly stroke my cheek with your thumb.

"Would you hate me if I kissed you?" You mumbled. I stared at you, silent for a moment. I would never hate you, especially for that. But I knew you weren't thinking straight at that moment. You were tired and hurt. "Can I kiss you?"

"Don't do something you'll regret later, Jaebum. Tomorrow you'll feel different." When I finished, you slowly moved closer.

"I won't, Youngjae." Your lips ghosted over mine, my heart quickly beating against my chest. I soon felt your lips on mine. I froze for a moment until the fact that you were kissing me finally set in. When it did, I kissed you back and the kiss soon turned passionate. It was what I always dreamt it would be like, except I knew deep down you didn't care for me that way. You didn't harbour romantic feelings for me. But I kissed you back anyway.

You soon broke away from the kiss, breathing heavily. I missed the feeling of your lips against mine, but I knew that was the only time I'd ever feel it. I felt you put your arms around my waist and rest your head on my shoulder. Being this close to you reminded me of when we were still in high school - when I first met you and fell in love with you.