New To Me (Phan)

Epilogue

"Hello internet! Okay. Right. So. If you clicked on this wanting to see more of my usual style of videos then I'm sorry to disappoint, but this isn't one of them. Honestly? I don't know what this is going to be. I'm just going to sit here and say whatever comes into my head and just... leave the camera rolling.

"First off, I'd like to thank you all for watching my videos. It's literally insane how many of you there are. Thanks for all the support and encouragement that you give me and just... yeah. Thank you so much. You guys are the best. It's weird to think that this all started off as just a requirement for my media class. I mean, if that's not incentive to attend school then I don't know what is...

"I feel like I share a lot of my life with you guys but at the same time, don't. I mean I post all these skits and stories and everything. But like, I never just sit down and talk to you about what's going on in my life. I only share with you the funny stuff that happens but none of the real stuff.

"I want to start doing that more, I think. I love you guys and you're such a major part of my life and I don't know, it feels weird to not share the other major parts of my life with you. I haven't necessarily been hiding them, I just haven't properly addressed or confirmed them.

"I want to talk to you about Phil. And if you don't know who Phil is then... you've clearly been living under a rock because he's been in the majority of my videos since the very beginning.

"Phil is my friend. My best friend. That's how I've always introduced him. And that wasn't a lie. Phil is my best friend. But he's also more than that.

"Phil is... I can't even describe what Phil is to me. I was going to say 'my world' but that's just so incredibly cringey. And I know he's going to watch this and he's never going to let me live that down.

"But it's true. Phil means literally everything to me. He's without a doubt my favourite person on the face of the earth and I am so fucking grateful that he's a part of my life. Like, you don't even know.

"My life was so plain before he came into it. So painstakingly boring. And I didn't even realise it at the time, you know? I didn't think that I was missing out on anything. And then I met Phil and everything just...changed. Things weren't so dull all of a sudden. They became exciting and intense and weird and wonderful. I started to actually feel things. And I experienced real, genuine happiness for the first time in, well... ever.

"Phil is happiness. And if you're ever lucky enough to meet him in real life you'll know exactly what I mean by that. He... I don't know. Radiates it. I'm not saying that he's happy 24/7. That he doesn't get upset or frustrated or angry sometimes. Because he does. Everyone does.

"But he never lets it get to him, you know? It never stops him from trying to make others happy. It doesn't stop him from smiling at people, complimenting them, stopping to make sure they're okay. And if they're not okay, dropping everything to try and fix that, regardless of who it is.

"It honestly baffles me how one person can be so genuinely amazing. He's funny and kind and insightful and caring and eccentric. And just... amazing. I swear I must have been Mother Theresa in a past life or something to deserve someone like him.

"I love you, Phil Lester. And I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure that out. It's still kind of scary to say but I'm getting used to it. I fucking love you.

"I don't care how sappy I sound. I don't care about how much crap I'm going to get for this. All the snide comments and slurs, all the teasing and the bullying, I just - I honestly don't give a shit about any of it. I really don't. I'm just glad that I'm able to say that to you.

"So... yeah. That's all I wanted to say. Sorry it turned into a video for Phil at the end there. If you're watching, Phil, stop eating my cereal, you little shit.

"Anyway, I'm glad that I'm sharing this with you guys. This was good. This was cathartic. I feel like we're a lot closer now. Like we've just hit third base in the emotional sense... except not. Because that's sounds weird. And half of you are like twelve and that would probably be illegal...

"If you want me to make more of these overly sentimental and disgustingly cheesy videos then leave a comment below and I... probably won't, let's be real. And if you missed my last video I'll leave a link in the description so you can go check that out. It's much less sappy, I promise.

"I'll let you get on with your fangirling. Try not to break the internet, please. And I'll see you guys next time. Bye!"