New To Me (Phan)

Chapter 2

It's only been a couple of weeks since Phil arrived at our school, but it seems far longer. He was an instant fit into our little gang. Same interests, same hobbies, same sense of humour. Just generally our kind of person.

"And with that I dub thee, Sir Phillip of the Fantastic Foursome. You may rise." Chris announced, after having tapped a kneeling Phil on either shoulder with a wii remote. Phil stood up from his 'knighting', barely able to conceal his laughter as he thanked Chris for the honour that had been bestowed upon him.

The events that led up to this bizarre moment were perfectly ordinary. We were all at PJ's place playing video games and just hanging out (an almost daily occurrence) when Chris decided to announce that Phil needed to be officially recognised as part of the group. And as such, needed a knighting ceremony. Obviously.

"Sir Phillip. That has a nice ring to it." I said as Phil resumed his place beside me on the couch. Yet another great honour to have been awarded to him. Usually Chris sits on the couch with me whilst PJ, ever the thoughtful hostess, sits on the floor. But with the addition of Phil into the group, Chris nobly gave up his seat. A true testament to Phil's likeability.

As for me, well I've called eternal dibs. I'm not going anywhere.

"Certainly much more respectable than Sir PJ," agreed Chris nodding his head. PJ playfully shoved him in mock indignance.

"With a title like that you're sure to have your pick of fair maidens." PJ said.

"Or wenches. Prostitutes deserve love too, PJ" said Chris seriously. Literally, the king of straight facing.

Phil laughed and waved them off. "I think I'll pass. I don't really swing that way." he said offhandedly.

"What, prostitutes?" Chris asked, confused.

"No... like, girls." Phil replied. His clarification was met was silence. He was gay? I wouldn't have guessed. Not that I'd really thought about it. I just kind of... I don't know, assumed he was straight. I think I have a second cousin or something that's gay but I'd never met anyone else. And as far as I knew, nobody at our school was.

Lost in my own train of thought the silence continued. "Am I... revoked of my knighthood?" Phil asked jokingly, though I detected a hint of uncertainty and perhaps even sadness behind his tone. His smile was timid and half-hearted.

"No! Of course not!" I interjected quickly, feeling stupid and a little guilty for not having assured him quicker. Of course it was okay. It was just unexpected that was all. It took a little time to process. Evidently PJ and Chris also had the same momentarily lapse as they then quickly jumped in with reassurances of their own.

"It's totally fine." PJ said, his usually playful tone replaced with one of sincerity. Temporarily replaced, mind you. "I mean, find me the right guy and who's knows what'd happen?" he said, wiggling his eyebrows seductively at Chris who, in turn, blew a kiss in his direction.

Phil seemed to breathe an audible sigh of relief. All of the tension and panic that have seemed to have built up in him in those brief moments of silence disappeared. His eyes met mine and I smiled encouragingly, trying to convey all the things that I wanted to say but sounded too sappy for my liking: 'it's okay with me', 'thanks for trusting us with that', 'we're not going to treat you any differently'. I didn't know if he managed to get all that, as his eyes only met mine for a fraction of a second before hastily flitting back to the TV.

And that seemed to be it. The games, the banter, the jokes: they all resumed as normal. It was as if nothing had happened, which I'm sure Phil was grateful for. As far as I could tell he seemed perfectly at ease. Not in the slightest bit regretful about having made such a personal revelation to a group of people he'd really only just met. I liked Phil, and I wanted him to be comfortable around us. There was just something about him that made you want to protect him, to make sure that he's happy. That brief flicker of sadness on his face from earlier was almost physically painful to see. And I'll be damned if I ever be the cause of that again.

Over the next few days I couldn't help but pay attention to Phil. I began noticing little things that I hadn't initially picked up on. Like the fact that he always wore odd socks, and that he rarely ever swore. The way that he covered his mouth every time he laughed and the way he would awkwardly rest only two fingers inside his pocket instead of his whole hand. I don't know why but I became consciously aware of everything that he did. On more than one occasion I've found myself staring at him, not really realising what I was doing.

I didn't know if anyone else knew about Phil being gay. I hadn't heard anything about it around school and you'd think that it would be a highly controversial story in a conservative school like ours. But then again, it seems damn near impossible for anyone to hold a negative opinion of Phil. The students loved him, the teachers loved him. He'd somehow managed to find the perfect balance between charming and awkward, unlike me who sits a lot further down the awkward end of the spectrum. If anyone were able to identify as anything other than straight and receive zero negative backlash, it would be Phil.

But I was a little worried nonetheless, and perhaps that was the source of my sudden interest in Phil. Although he received nothing but reassurances (and the occasional harmless joke) since coming out to me, Chris and PJ, I didn't know how everyone else at our school would react. And that genuinely concerned me. Did anyone know at his old school? Was he bullied because of it? Is that why he moved here? All of a sudden it became clear to me that I knew surprisingly little about Phil's back story.

When did he realise he was gay? How did he realise? Did he have a boyfriend? So many questions flitted through my mind, greatly enhancing my curiosity. I wanted to know more about Phil. I needed to know, to satisfy my near insatiable intrigue. And so I made it my goal to find out more about the alluring and enigmatic being that is Phil Lester.