what the heart wants

chapter 2: see you in my nightmares

“Hellooo,” I manage to say, feeling my face heating up. 

“Nice to see you Mili,” James said as he began to straighten up. I know I wouldn’t be able to handle those blue eyes once they met mine. Those blue eyes that appeared in my nightmares. 

“I’ll be right down,” I quickly say and run out of the living room, up the stairs, and into my room. It was just as I had left it. I sat on my bed and looked around my room. I felt my heart squeeze. All around, there was proof of James and I were ever together. I sighed and plopped myself on the bed. 

“Knock, knock,” Ginger said as she entered my room. I propped myself up on my elbows. Then I remember who’s she’s marrying. 

“Hey, I never got to uhm....congratulate you,” I say. Ginger shrugs, as she looks around my room. 

“That doesn’t matter. Mili, are you ok?” Ginger asked. 

“Uhm....yeah, I’m fine,” I say with a forced smile. 

“Are you ok with Jim being here?” Ginger asked as she sat next to me. 

“Ginger, it’s been two years,” I say with a shrug. But inside I’m pulling my hair.

“True. But I also know you’ve loved that man for most of your teenage years,” Ginger said and lots of thanks for reminding me! I shrug. 

“Whatever, that’s in the past,” I say. And I mean it, kinda. We sat there in silence for awhile. Then, Ginger cleared her throat.

“So, uhm....You know who Ella is with?” Ginger asked. I shook my head. 

“I didn’t get the chance to ask.”

“She’s with Leo.” Damn.

“Leo....as in Leo Laid?” Ginger nodded. I manage to nod

“So....so I’ll be seeing a lot of those Laid boys,” I say with a very forced smile. 

“Yeah, I guess so. If you visit,” Ginger said. Ouch, right to the gut. 

“Uhm.....Ginger....” I say remembering that she’s unaware of the truth.

“Yeah?”

“Be careful.” PLEASE!!

“With what?”

“With your relationship.” Of course. 

“I am.” Pff! If only she knew. 

“Ginger....”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure you want to marry him?” Ginger looked over to me surprised. 

“Of course.” Damn.

“Because it’s not too late to drop all of this. I mean, no one would blame you.” Shut up mouth!

“I love him Mili, I know I want this.” Double damn. I grimaced. “What’s wrong? I thought you were happy for me?” Ha! 

“I was...I mean am. It’s just....well Ginger, maybe you should reconsider, like post pone it for a little longer.” Oh look at her face! Shut up mouth!

“Listen, I know you and Jim had a rough marriage, but we’re not you two. I think we’ll be fine.” Ouch, sucker punch. 

“Think? Ginger, you should just take a step back and like...go away on a vacation for a month or something.” Or two years. 

“Mili, I get, ok? I mean...you went through a rough marriage, and now I’m marrying into the family, you assume the same destiny awaits me, but no. Mili, we’re in love.” Love-shmove.