chapter 12: It's better to feel pain than nothing at all

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“James.....” I said as I glanced behind me to see Will walking down the stairs. I paled. 

“James, what are you doing here?” Will asked as he stood next to me. 

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” James said as he looked at Will then over to me. I looked wide eyed over to Will then back to James. Then I felt Will’s arm snake over my shoulders. I froze. 

“We met up at the bar and we were just....catching up,” Will said. I saw James’ jaw clench. 

“But we were done,” I manage to say. I try and step away from Will by bump into the door frame. There wasn’t much room here. 

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll just let you guys....finish,” James said. And I could tell he was mad. He turned to go and I finally snapped into action. 

“James wait,” I said as I walked past Will and over to James. James continued walking. “James!” I said as I grabbed his arm. James pulled away and stepped out of the building. He walked over to the side of the building and grabbed a duffle bag and backpack. I froze in my steps. “James?” I said in a whisper James turned over to me mad. 

“Whata hell Mildred!?” James exclaimed mad. I flinched at the loudness. He’d never raised his voice like that to me. 

“Listen, you got it all wrong-”

“Do I? What exactly were you and your buddy Will doing?” My mouth moved by nothing came out. “That’s what I thought,” James said as he turned to go. 

“James, wait,” I said as I took a step towards him. James stopped, but didn’t turn around. 

“I....he.....we didn’t really do much, you know?” I say weakly. James let’s out a laugh, a very mean laugh. And he turns to me. 

“I don’t know why I’m surprised to see him.”

“What?”

“You ran to him when you left me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was here with you all along.”

“You can’t hold this against me. This is the first time I see Will in over a year and you can’t blame me on how I try and fix something YOU so easily broke.”

“I get that Mili. I understood why you were with that guy at Ella’s wedding. I get that. But I told you I loved you yesterday AND today and this is the stunt you pull?” 

“You have to understand James, last time we were in a similar situation and you chose Emily over me. And at that time we found out she helped break us apart. So I thought this was no different.”

“So I tell you I love you, I leave and you think I’m going to stay with Emily so the first thing you do is run to someone else?”

“No! James I’ve been sitting next to my phone the moment you left. I was up there waiting for you but you never called and you never showed up. So I went to my bar and I bumped into Will.”

“How convenient!”

“James, you can’t be mad at this. I’ve put myself out there and you have repeatedly hurt me. What was I supposed to expect?”

“I told you I loved you. You ever think of that? You ever stop and think what it is like for me trying to accept my feelings for you?”

“You seriously think you’re worst off than I am? You’re in a relationship!”

“I was in one. And the reason why I stayed was because Emily had never hurt me. She took care of my heart unlike you.”

“James-”

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