what the heart wants

chapter 13: This love will be your downfall. I'm feeling down about this love

I don’t know what normal feels like anymore. Before I left, normal was being with James, then when I did leave normal was over there. I moved back and normal was talking with Rich, but then Rich passed away. So normal was getting the bar fixed up to reopen. Normal was sneaking kisses with James, and then having my heart broken by him. And now I’m here, in the apartment with the bar up and running, but that doesn’t feel normal. What sucks is that I finally felt completely normal when I was with James. That sucks. 

“Where’s your head at Mili?” Ron asked. I sighed. 

“I want to be normal,” I said as I slouched on my couch with a beer in my hand. 

“Normal is lame,” Russell said as he grabbed another slice of pizza. Today we were watching soccer at my place. It was a friendly game but it was USA vs. Mexico. Russell and Leo were over as well as Ron. Actually all three of them had been over a lot this week, mainly because I’ve been a mess. 

“Who wants normal anyway?” Leo asked. 

“I do,” I replied as I took a drink and sighed. 

“Trust me, ya don’t,” Ron said as he grabbed a pizza. I sighed louder. 

“Whatever,” I mumbled as I finished my beer. 

“Maybe we should watch the second half of the game in the bar,” Russell suggested. 

“You guys go ahead, I think I’ll stay,” I said. The guys all looked at each other, and I knew why. I han’t left my apartment since James walked away. I had to admit, I felt a little bad that James’ brothers were here with me, when he probably needed them too. 

“C’mon Mili, some air will do you good,” Ron said. 

“I can open a window if I need air,” I replied. 

“Mili,” Leo said. 

“I’m fine guys really. I just....I like the comforts of my home,” I replied. 

“Mili, going outside and seeing other people will do you good,” Russell said. 

“Nope,” I replied. 

“You’re so stubborn,” Russell said annoyed. 

“Yup.”

“C’mon Mili,” Ron said. I shook my head vigorously. 

“No,” I replied. Ron sighed. 

“Maybe another time,” Leo said as he shoved the rest of his pizza in his mouth. 

“Maybe,” I replied. Leo grinned. 

“A got uh mabee,” Leo said with a mouth full. 

“Shut up before you choke man,” Russell said. Leo shoved his brother with his cheeks filled with pizza. 

“Anyway,” Leo said. He swallowed the food he had in his mouth and continued, “Ella wanted me to give you this,” Leo said as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a cream colored envelope. 

“What’s this?” I asked with a raised brow. Ron tried to grab the envelope but Leo quickly pulled away. 

“Dude,” Leo said as he held it close. 

“I want to know,” Ron replied as he reached for it. 

“It amazes me how you’re the oldest one here, but yet you’re the most immature,” Russell said. Ron thought about that for a moment. 

“You know, I’m going to take that as a compliment. Thanks Russell,” Ron said. Then he pulled the envelope away and opened it. “Who’s Rosa?” Ron asked. My eyes grew wide.