what the heart wants

chapter 9: All I know is I'm breathing now.

I could hear laughter and conversations drifting over to where I was. I sat in the dressing room, trying to remember to breath. Everyone was here now, and they thought I was running late again. But I couldn’t get myself to get up to tell them or just leave. I sat there as I heard them all talk and try on their dresses. Ella hadn’t tried hers on yet so I still had some time. I wanted to see my little sister in her gown. I managed to stand up and slowly look outside, without anyone else noticing. I watched as they all moved around and I looked for my chance to sneak out. I left the dress inside and crawled out. Once I was close to the door I ran out, I was planning to turn around but I couldn’t, I needed air. All the thoughts that filled my head were that James was finally getting what he wanted, but without me. I ran out and crossed the street. I heard cars honk but I didn’t care. After I ran for awhile I slowed down, because I wasn’t really sure where I was running to. My phone began to ring “Hello?” I said sounding very out of breath. 

“Mili! We’re just waiting for you! Your dress is in the dressing room and everything,” Ella said. 

“Would you be terribly mad if I didn’t go?” I ask with my fingers crossed.

“Yes! Now hurry and get over here,” Ella said then hung up. I looked around trying to decide which way to go, what to do. 

“Lost?” Said a deep voice behind me. I quickly turned around and in front of me stood a tall scruffy face cowboy (I say cowboy because he was wearing a cowboy hat, a long sleeve brown checkered shirt with cinnamon colored stripes, with a pair of brown pull on work boots, and a large oval buckle with the initial ‘R’). 

“Uhm...well kind of,” I say with a shrug. 

“Where you trying to get too?” He asked.

“Ok so I’m not like lost-lost, but more just life lost.”

“So where you trying to get to?” I looked up at him confused. 

“You mean like right now or in my life?”

“Both.”

“Well I’m supposed to be trying on my dress.”

“Where at?”

“Some shop down the street.”

“You need to be there?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go.”

“Who walked you in Mili?” Ella said as she pulled me over with the rest. 

“Some guy I ran into,” I replied. 

“He’s good looking,” Terry said. 

“He is,” Ginger said then she looked over to Emily. 

“I just met the guy so, whatever,” I say with a shrug. 

“Ok we’ll talk about it later, but first go try on your dress,” Ella said as she pushed me in. Not long after I came out in the dress, but no one was paying attention. They were all around Ginger who was telling them she was pregnant, as far as I could tell no one else knew about Emily.

“Hello,” I heard James say. I looked over and he hadn’t seen me yet. Emily ran over to kiss him, and everyone ‘awed’. I rolled my eyes. Then James saw me. I wanted to smile, to wave but I couldn’t. I just stood there watching. 

“Mili the dress looks great on you!” Ella said as she ran over to me. I shrugged. 

“It’s ok,” I say. 

“Ella tried it on, you guys are like the same size, but you wear it better,” Terry said. 

“All 3 of us are,” I said.