Love Yourself

Chapter 18

August 2020

"Ready for little man to get here?" I asked Sophia.

"Yea, I mean I don't mind being pregnant."

"But you just want to hold him."

"Exactly." She smiled giving her belly a rub.

"Plus Jake is going to be a good big brother."

"He is but I don't think he fully understands it."

"He will."

"You okay, you're looking a little pale?" She asked me.

"Yea I'm fine."

"You sure?" I nodded.

"Yea, I should get going."

Before I left she gave me crackers and water to help my stomach. I drove to the store and went to the baby aisle. I can't believe I'm finding myself looking for pregnancy tests again.

"Ellie." I quickly whipped my head around seeing Sean. She came closer to me wrapping her arms around me.

"You're okay." She whispered in my ear.

"I'm so scared."

"Let's get you one and you can come over to take it."

"Thank you, what are you doing down here?" I looked at her confused.

"Walking by and thought I saw you."

"Can we go?"

"Yea, I'll meet you at the house."

"Sounds good." We bought everything and I followed her back to her house. I'm so scared of what Jason is going do this time.

"Ellie honey, its okay no one is here."

"I'm just nervous and scared." She nodded understanding.

"I know and I'm here."

"Thank you." She gave me a hug before I went into the bathroom taking the test. Yes, I want to give Colin a sibling, but not just yet.

"Ellie." I walked over and curled up with my aunt. Her arms were tight around me as I just cried.

"Everything is going to be okay."

"He left last time."

"But he's here and he's in Colin's life."

"Still." I sighed.

"How about I take Colin tonight and you two can just talk."

"I don't know."

"You need to, and then you can tell Colin tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"You know I was the first person your mom told when she was pregnant with your sister. She was scared a lot like you are right now."

"I know I'll be okay because I have you guys but I would love for things to be different this time."

After staying there for a while I finally pulled myself together and headed back home. Jason was on the couch passed out with Colin on his chest also sleeping. Maybe this will be okay, things are different now. I made dinner and the boys finally had woken up.

"Hey little man, want to go stay with Uncle Elliot and Aunt Sean?"

"But I want to see Jake."

"Sean wants to see you. Maybe I'll see if Jake can go with you."