got lightning in a bottle || n.h au

twenty nine

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x Zahraa x

I clutched my phone tightly in my hand, my sweaty palms threatening to make it slip from my grasp as I dialled a number that I had memorised by the second day of our encounter.

A number that used to make my heart flutter whenever it appeared on the screen, but now had my nerves skyrocketing.

The phone rang once, twice, three times and I was about to abandon my mission when he finally answered.

"Hello?"

I couldn't help but shudder at the sound of Niall's deep, raspy morning voice. His accent was more pronounced than I'd ever heard it before and I'd be lying if I said that it didn't send a tingle throughout my whole being.

Fuck.

"Is anyone there?" He spoke again. "Look, if this is some kind of -"

I cleared my throat.

"H-hi Niall." I greeted timidly.

"What do you want Zahraa?" His deep voice was now laced in poorly concealed irritation. It sounded so cold, so angry. Nothing like the Niall I was used to. My heart broke all over again.

"I-I miss you Niall. Can we please just talk? Everything that you think happened isn't as close to the real truth as you think it is. Please just- "

"There's nothing left to talk about, Zahraa" the way he said my name had me shuddering yet again. And not the good kind.

It was almost as if saying my name disgusted him, and the thought of that had my heart constricting painfully in my chest.

After explaining everything to Liam yesterday, he suggested that I try one more time to get Niall to hear me out.

We hadn't thought of a proper plan on how to expose Shayna and get Niall to see the truth. He had just suggested that I try calling him one more time and seeing where it took me.

He said if it didn't work, we'd have to go back to the drawing board.

"Niall please" I was ashamed at how my voice cracked on that one word. I've never been this emotional, but this boy just brings out a side of me that I don't even understand.

"I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to talk to you. You can't honestly be that dense. Can't you take a hint?"

"I -" I couldn't manage another word because an embarrassing sob was choked out of my throat at just how final that sounded.

How did we ever come to this?

Before I ended up straight up bawling on the phone, I quickly hung up the phone before letting my phone slide out of my grasp and onto my cream duvet.

I bit my lip in an effort to stop anymore sounds from escaping my throat. I then curled up into a ball right in the centre of my bed, suddenly not caring about anything other than the raw pain that I felt in my chest.

It's honestly quite sad, what this boy has reduced me too.

I feel so helpless, so pathetic and I don't know how to fix it anymore.

I never thought I'd be that person. The kind to cry and be all miserable and weepy over a boy, and yet here I am, a sobbing mess who has lost the will to even carry on.

How did it all go so wrong?

And better yet, how do I make it stop? Lord knows I hate feeling this way.

Love sucks.

x Niall x

Before Zahraa hung up the phone, I heard something that, before this entire saga happened, I had promised myself I'd never do.

I made her cry. And I'd be lying if I said that it didn't fill me with feelings of sadness and regret.

She sounded so broken, and for a minute, I started rethinking my actions and decisions.

I mean, she can't be that good an actress. Could she?

Fuck.

I've never felt this conflicted.

The truth is that I missed her like crazy.

I missed her scent, her quirky jokes, the way that she could always make me feel better just by being there.

I missed her sweet kisses, her hugs and the way that she would bury her face in my neck whenever she blushed or became flustered.

I miss her witty remarks and all her sass, even when it was directed at me. I miss how animated and happy she gets when she tells me about all her favourite things. The way she'd relentlessly tease her brothers but always have that loving glint in her gorgeous brown eyes whenever she talked about them.

I miss all the little things, like how she'd slip her hand into mine whenever we were together. Almost as if she needed that to ground her.

I miss how she'd make my breath hitch whenever she shyly smiled at me, or the mischievous glint she'd get in her eyes whenever she did something she wasn't supposed to.

I missed everything about her, but the other part of me, the one dominated by pride and resentment and mostly hurt, refused to even entertain those thoughts.

She played me. She broke me. And with with that bastard Nick of all people!

I had to stop feeling sorry for her, no matter how much it hurt to hear that vulnerable side of her. No matter how much my heart broke all over again at the thought of having made her cry.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Damn, love is a bitch.

* * *

A/N: Confession time. My heart broke as I wrote such. 😭😭😭 I'm all about the fluff man, this is too heart breaking for my little fragile soul. I just *digs a hole for myself to go and wallow in* bye.