bts angst imagines | bts

yoongi, bully (ii)

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yoongi's pov

i walk into school, late, with everyone's eyes on me not saying a word. weird.

i stroll into class and everyone has their head down with some people crying. 

i scan my eyes looking for y/n to get payback since she punched me yesterday, but she's not in her seat. she wouldn't miss a day, so why isn't she in?

"why are you late yoongi?" the teacher sternly says.

"i didn't want to come" i yawned as i head towards my seat, eyes followed me everywhere, some were angry looks and some were teary. what the hell happened?

"that's no excuse yoongi. you've missed some tragic news, so i'll tell the whole class again" he says. 

usually he wouldn't care if I was here or not, so why was the teacher being like this... the news must've be pretty bad.

"okay class, the reason y/n is not in today is because she...." he sighed before saying:

"committed suicide".

at that point everything around me stopped and my ears started ringing. she took her own life? and it was all because of me. shit... i didn't think i would be affected this much. 

the fact she's gone...because of me.

guilt hits me like a truck and i think of everything i did to make her life a living hell and the last thing i said to her was to kill herself. i didn't think she'd actually do it.

i lowered my head in shame. 

"she left a note for us to read and i'm ashamed to say that this tragic loss was partly because of the students in school" the teacher says, specifically looking at me. 

i didn't even care anymore, i felt numb. what i'm feeling now is nothing compared to what she was feeling.

the teacher starts reading the letter and my heart shatters.

dear everyone,

everything is probably going fine without me. maybe even better now that I'm gone. i wanted to do this to myself because the pain got too much. 

every single day was torture for me, even at home. i had no friends to talk to about my problems with, not even my own family, since they were a part of my struggles. i'm sure no one would grieve or mourn for me, after all, i'm sure they would be glad anyway.

i just wanted to say that anyone who felt like they were apart of this, i forgive you.

i'm sure you were going through some things and you just took it out on me.

just know that this was my decision and i'm truly happy to be free from all this suffering, and it makes me happy knowing i'll be finally joining my sister in heaven. 

goodbye.

i noticed a tear fall out my eye and onto my desk and I quickly wipe it away.

i look around me and see all of my friends, who laughed with me, looking at me with pity, like they knew how guilty i was.

now, everyday, i find myself going to her grave to apologise for what i've done to her, but i know it wont bring her back.

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