Beside You

Chapter 12: Admitting

Chapter 12: Admitting

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“Hey, I didn’t really think you would show up,” Calum greeted.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh I just figured… actually never mind. So you want to go in?” he asked nodding to the ice-cream shop behind us.

“Yeah.”

“What do you want?”

“I usually get cookies and cream coz that’s my favourite but I think I want to go with something else today.” And also because just talking about cookies and cream ice-cream reminded me of Luke.

“Let's get frozen yoghurt then. Do you like that?"

"Hell yes! I love it! Sometimes I dream about living in a frozen yoghurt house. Do you think that would be possible?"

Calum laughed and I felt a little surge of pride to think I’d made him laugh. "Keep dreaming princess!" I blushed at the nickname.

We walked up and down the street aimlessly as we finished our frozen yoghurt, occasionally pointing out random things in window shops or whatever. It was strange to think that I was basically out on a date with the guy who I’d had a crush on for four years but I wasn’t as excited as I thought I would be.

Sure I was. And I was nervous. And a whole other mixture of emotions, but everything was not how I expected everything to happen. For one thing I never expected to go out for ice-cream with Calum. And for another thing I never expected Calum to kiss me. Yeah I was still on about that. How the hell could I forget that?

I was so deeply immersed in my thoughts I’d completely tuned out to what Calum was saying.

“Earth to Elaine!” he waved his hand in front me.

“Huh? Sorry.”

“That’s okay. Come on, spill it. What’s on your mind?”

I’ve had a crush on you since year seven and I didn’t think you would ever notice me but for some reason this year you started paying attention to me and you actually cared about me. And then a couple hours ago you just kissed me and I should be happy that things are progressing, but I’m nor for some reason. Actually correction, I’m happy but I’m not as happy as I expected me to because I think I am getting a huge crush on Luke who is also coincidentally your best friend. And now I don’t know what to do about this because how did such a big loser dork like me end up torn between two really hot guys?

Okay, so I didn’t actually say that, but I seriously considered saying it. However, I ended up saying the most common response to ‘what is on your mind’.

“Nothing.”

“It is something. I can tell by the way your staring into space. You are aware we’re walking along a street and you could bump into a pole or something else really easily?”

“But I’m sure you wouldn’t let me walk into a pole.”

“How would you know if you're so busy thinking about something else? So come on, spill the beans.”

I sighed. “I was thinking about the kiss Calum,” I admitted.

“Oh…” Calum went silent. “Look, I’m really, really, really sorry about that. I don’t know why the fuck I did it and I know it was a really dick think to do.”

I was always really shy. That’s why Derek and Jen were my only friends, because I was so socially awkward. Whenever I was around people I didn’t know, or people I was uncomfortable around I didn’t ask upfront questions and so I had no idea why the fuck the next words came out of my mouth.