The Falling Out Girl

Soul Searching

I sat around for two hours trying to dig deep into my emotions. But I came up with nothing even though I'm a girl, I am completely ignorant when it came to most emotions. The only ones I've ever really expirence were pain, sadness, depression so on and so fourth. Its noon and Joe was still past out drunk. Pete just got up and Patrick as we all know won't get up for another three hours. Pete was in the bathroom taking a shower and all that. During the time I decided to talk to Andy.

"Hey Andy?" I asked.

"Hm what is it?" He looked up curiously. 

"Can you promise to keep this secret between us?" I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Of course, you're secret is safe with me," he smiled.

"Thanks Andy, I knew I could count on you," I smiled and hugged him.

I really cared for all the guys but Andy is the only one I could tell anything to. Which got me to thinking about my relationship with each one of them. Andy was like my best friend I knew I could tell anything to and he take all my secrets to his grave. As for Patrick he's like my super protective big brother same with Pete,in a way. Honesly I haven't spent a lot of time with either of them so it still feels like were strangers. I think I'll make today the day I spend time with them. I need a break from all of my soul searching. Maybe spending time with Pete will take my mind off of everything. I waited paitently for him to get out of the bathroom so I could ask him if he wanted to hangout tonight. Finally Pete stepped out of the bathroom and I aprroached him eagarly.

"Hey Pete?" I said.

"Hey what's up?" he asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hangout tonight after your show?" I replied.

"Um sure," he smiled, "yeah that would be awesome."

"Great I'll see you tonight after the show," I said. 

I went back the living room and Pete smiled going back to his bunk. 

"What the hell did you just do?" Andy leaned over and asked me.

"What I thought I needed a well deserve break," I replied.

"With Pete?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah so? I thought I needed to hangout with someone who can help me take my mind off of everything." I explained.

 "WIth Pete?" Andy said again.

"Aren't you and him best friends? Why do you keep saying that?" I asked.

"Yeah but out of everyone why him?" Andy asked.

I shrugged, "convenience I guess. Well I can't hangout with Joe for reasons you know, I can't hangout with you for reasons that you know what I still don't quite know, and Patrick is asleep. So as I perviously stated convenience my friend."

"Right I get it," Andy smiled.

"Also you and Joe are the only two I really talk to so I think I should spend just as much time with Pete and Patrick," I explained. 

"I guess its only fair," Andy said.

"Exactly its only fair," I said.

                                                                    *After the show* 

This time I waited paitently back on the bus instead of back stage. Pete returned to the bus with a smile

"You ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

Pete and I walked off the bus together and down the street. I gotta admit I was a little more than nervous to hangout with Pete alone. I know out of everyone he's probably one in the band that the press follows around the most and I really didn't want to be the new scandalous front page exclusive of People Magazine. We really didn't have an idea of were we wanted to go so we just kinda walked aimlessly.  It was silent for a while then Pete said something.

"Hey Em ya know we gotta do something about those clothes. You've been wearing the same thing for the past four days," He said.

"I know I left everything back in San Diego. There's no way I'll ever get it back now," I frowned.

"Hey it's okay well go shopping tomorrow and get you all new wardrobe," Pete smiled trying to cheer me up. 

I smiled, "okay." 

I sighed, that smile could heal all wounds. I started to drift off thinking about Joe's beautiful smile... Wait? what am I doing? I'm supposed to take my mind off of everything but still the more I try to forget the more he pops up in my head and the more my heart burns. What is this feeling?

"Em you okay?" Pete asked.

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine. I'm just hungry," I said.

"Okay where do you wanna eat?" He said.

"Um, oh hey there's a Chipotle right over there," I said pointing.

"Yeah that sounds good to me," Pete said 

Chipotle was right across the street. We stood at the end of the street and looked both ways before we crossed as we crossed the street Pete grabbed my hand and held it the hole time. When we got to the other side he had just realized he was holding my hand the entire time and immediately let go.

"Oh sorry, force of habbit I guess," he said looking embarrassed.

"Its okay," I giggle and smiled.

"You have a really nice smile," he smiled back. 

"Huh? No I don't really," I looked down feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Don't be so down on yourself. Sure you do every time you smile everyone is in a better mood," Pete said.

"Everyone?" I lifted up my head feeling a bit of hope.

"Absolutely!" Pete said cheerfully.

By everyone, does that mean Joe too? Does he think my smile is just as infectious as his? The more I thought about it the more my smile widened. Damnit I need to stop! Why can't I stop thinking about him?