What a life

My dearest brother

"D-don't look at me like that!" I stammer, not knowing what to do. Satoshi just chuckles. My mind doesn't even know what's going on!
"Look, I understand it's hard living with nine boys but be freaking glad it ain't ten, alright?"
"I would be glad if it were less than four." I say sarcastically.
"Those smart comments of yours aren't going to make it easier, alright? I'm only a year younger than you so that probably means I'm still stronger than you." He hisses, grabbing my shirt by the collar and lifting me closer to his face. A tear escapes my eye in pain and I nod, meaning he drops me like I'm nothing more than trash to him and he heads towards the door.
"Oh and one more thing," he starts.
"It's not your fault Subaru is a diva. Just ignore him." And with that comment, Satoshi leaves, leaving me spluttering for breath on the ground like the weak girl I am. I wipe away another tear and collapse completely, looking up at the ceiling. The way he handled me was so violent but then before he left he told me it wasn't my fault Subaru acted that way...I can't tell if Satoshi is trying to be nice or not.

I slip on a coat and boots and exit out the back door into the garden, where a huge bare tree stands. I sit on the bench beneath it and hug my legs for warmth, the occasional snowflake getting caught in my eyelashes. White completely covers everything and it just keeps gracefully gliding down from the sky.
"You'll catch a cold if you're not careful." A voice says behind me, breaking the peaceful silence. I turn around and when I see who it is, I let go of my knees and stand.
"S-Subaru?" I stutter. He walks around the tree and sits on the bench, pulling me down as he goes.
"I came to apologise and talk to you." I hug my knees again and we lean back, our warm breaths hitting the cold air and making mist flow from our mouths.
"I'm really sorry I overreacted t-" before he could finish, I interrupt.
"No it's fine. I completely understand." I say.
"You do?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah!" I cheerfully reply with a smile. "When my parents died things changed and I didn't like it. I tried to put up a fight and I was just so defiant. I didn't want to believe they were gone but they were. You don't like me being here because it's a change." He looks at me straight faced but eventually, a smile spreads. I look down at the white ground. My eyes sting as if tears were there but I hold them back. I don't want to cry in front of Subaru.
"It is a change. I'm used to changes though. It used to just be me, Naoki, Aito and Takumi and it was amazing but then Kyoya came and everyone was fascinated about how smart he was...no one paid any attention to me and it was a change I hated. Then, the twins came and everyone loved them and forgot about me and only me. That's what it felt like, anyway. Then Satoshi was born and everyone loved playing with him. Shortly after, Kijo was born and a few years later you have us. We've only recently learnt to get along. My brothers are dear to me and when you came along I knew that they'd all get so fascinated with you, history would repeat itself." We sit in silence after that, both of us probably lost in thought. That's how he felt this whole time?
"It's okay, Subaru. I probably would've done the same if a stranger came in between someone I love dearly." I say. I shiver in the cold, snowflakes tangling themselves in my shirt frizzy hair. Subaru notices my small shiver and unwraps his scarf, putting it over my neck instead.
"Like I said, you're going to get a cold." I giggle and pull it over my red nose, causing Subaru to chuckle too.
"C'mon let's go inside." To my surprise, Subaru takes me by the sleeve of my coat and drags me indoors, where the warm hits us like an invisible wall. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and when I look, I see Georgia's name pop up.
"Who is it?" Subaru asks.
"Just my best friend Georgia. I'll only be a minute." I step back outside in the icy wind and answer the phone with a beep.
"What's up Georgia? Long time no see- well, talk."
"Where are you? I asked the hotel staff if you were here and they said you've got a home now. Give me your address I want to see you!" This makes me panic. If Georgia comes here and sees I'm living with nine boys... (well, eight since Aito isn't here) she'd freak!

What the hell am I going to do?