Falling For You...Over and Over Again

ELEVEN

Maine

The room is quiet now, everybody has left. Today has been a very busy day for RJ, Sebastian and I.

My in-laws left three hours ago, while MamaTen and Sam just left. They have been taking care of the media outside the hospital and the non-stop delivery of flowers and balloons and all kinds of stuff that has an "it's a boy" line on it from RJ's fans and colleagues.

Pia and Pauleen came earlier too, with a mommy care box and a promise to visit us at home when we are all settled in. I look around the room, it is literally filled with flowers.

Sebastian moved a little in my arms trying to be more cozier. He is so tiny, I leaned in closer to his face and took a deep breath. He slowly opened his eyes and look straight at me, a small smile building on his lips.

His first smile.

"Oh baby boy, are you giving mommy a smile?" I whispered. "You know I love you, yes I do. Mommy loves you."

He made a soft gurgling sound, as if trying to say I love you too. He is calm and really quiet the whole day. It was just this one time when he cried, only because he has a wet nappy. His nurse came to change him but I insisted I do it. It was his first diaper change and of course I wanted to do it.

RJ is taking a nap on the guest bed beside mine and right now he is lightly snoring. I wanted to go to him, to put a blanket over him but my stitches still hurt and I couldn't move as much.

A soft knock on the sliding door that separates the patient's room to the main suite pulled me out of my reverie.

It was Nurse Marie, the nurse who is assigned to me today.

"Hi mommy." She greeted.

"Hello." I whispered back.

"I just want to check, do you want to try to nurse Sebastian?" She asked. 

I nodded.

"Okay, let me prep you."

I lay Sebastian on my thigh, while Nurse Marie went to the the supplies table to get a a clean cotton so I can clean my breasts.

The first time we tried, he wouldn't want to latch on my nipple. The nurse and Dr. Chin said that he just need to get used to it so we should keep on trying.

While I was cleaning my breasts, Sebastian became a little bit fussy and started to whimper, probably because he couldn't feel me anymore.

From the guest bed, I sensed RJ moving, and so to avoid waking him up I immediately lifted Sebastian and cradled him in my arms, placing his head in front of my left breast.

"Hey, are you trying to breastfeed?" I heard RJ asked. I turned to look at him and smiled.

"Yes babe, come." I extended my right arm, inviting him.

He gets up, eyes still sleepy and slide on the bed, sitting next to me.

I pushed the left part of the nightshirt I was wearing aside  and as soon as Sebastian felt my boob, he turned his face and started searching for my nipple. Immediately after he found it, he latched on and started sucking.